Let them get their entire message across before giving your response. Be aware of your non-verbal reactions, too. Avoid things like eye-rolling, scoffing, or other dismissive behavior, and keep eye contact. Act so that you can walk away knowing you handled the situation well, and with integrity.
Be especially mindful of this if you tend to avoid confrontations or are a “people pleaser. ” Others may see it as permission to walk over you. Avoid comments like “It’s no big deal” or “Don’t worry about it. ” Saying something like this is dismissive of your feelings, and the other person’s.
You can spot sincere apologies by looking for two key elements: the person seems to understand how it feels to be standing in your shoes and the person offers a solution to make amends. [2] X Research source In a sincere apology, a person may also offer an explanation but will be clear that it doesn’t excuse their behavior.
For instance, you might say, “I was really angry when you dropped your workload on my desk, especially since I knew you were only blowing off work to be with your boyfriend. I had to work three hours past shift to get everything finished. ”
You might say something along the lines of “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I accept your apology” or “I understand why you may have made that decision. I’m ready to move on from it now. ”
You might thank them by saying, “I really appreciate you coming to talk to me about this. Thanks. ”
Demonstrate that you are trying to maintain professionalism and starting off on a good foot by keeping your lips sealed about the matter. If you feel the need to vent, do it privately. Talk to someone outside of the office. You can also try writing your feelings down in a journal or a letter you won’t send. Take care not to dwell on the subject too long, though, as doing so will keep you from moving on.
You might say, “Jordan, it says a lot that you came to me to apologize. But, I can’t accept your apology” or “I appreciate your apology, but I’m afraid I can’t accept it. " You can also be clear about how you’d like the relationship to change. For example, you might say, “You know, I’d really prefer not to work on projects together in the future. ” Or, “From now on, I’ll only be discussing professional matters with you. ” Remember that you don’t really owe the person an explanation. You can simply walk away. [5] X Research source
For example, maybe your coworker made a mistake in a report because she’s sleep-deprived due to juggling her job with caring for a newborn. In such a case, it’s hardly surprising that someone may make an error.
Brainstorm possible methods for repairing the damage. For instance, you and your coworker might schedule a sit-down with the boss to explain their error and relieve you from solely taking the blame. Then, you might describe your plan for preventing future situations like this from reoccurring.
Avoid gossiping and complaining to colleagues about the person, too. It will make you look petty, even if you weren’t the instigator.
This may also apply to situations when a coworker said something hurtful or vindictive about you behind your back but later apologized for it. Even if they seem sincere, you may want to keep your distance in the future. If you have trouble with a repeat offender, you can try talking to someone in Human Resources as a last resort. They can advise you on ways to resolve the situation and protect yourself.
