3 Ways To Accept That You Are Gay

If you feel that you don’t fit, or you can’t understand why you aren’t like other people in your life because you are different, remember that you are you, and not anyone else; and that being yourself and accepting yourself for the person that you are is something to be immensely proud of. Consider taking an online sexuality quiz, like this one, to see if identifying as gay feels right for you.

There isn’t any need to change yourself - being gay is just another way of simply existing, and there is nothing wrong with it at all. Neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay. [4] X Expert Source Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSCLicensed Clinical Social Worker Expert Interview. 2 April 2021. Some people in the world believe that sexual orientation is a choice. If you feel that you indeed made a choice, you should feel comfortable with that choice. Everyone has their battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you.

Tell yourself: “I am a person with feelings and intellect and life, just like everyone else. I am unique and individual, and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am gay is just another facet of who I am, just as being creative, or optimistic, or having brown eyes is. I may not be like many of my friends, but I choose to live my life authentically and happily. It’s my life, and I choose to be happy. "

You do not need to fit into the gay community just as much as you don’t need to fit into the straight community. These are arbitrary social constructs. Are boys inherently about football and burping? No. Society has told them that that’s okay. In 100 years, “gay” will be an entirely different concept. Don’t pressure yourself to fit in one way or another. Be genuine with yourself so you know your values. Knowing what you value will help you choose what’s important to you rather than what society thinks is important. Brainstorm and write down what you value.

Treatments to “change” sexual orientation that was common in the 1960s and 1970s were very damaging to those patients who underwent them and affected no change in their sexual orientation. In fact, conversion therapy is slowly getting banned across the US. Homosexuality is not viewed as an illness and in short, it won’t be treated as such. [6] X Research source

Find a group or a hangout where you feel comfortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk with. Make some new friends, and by doing so, you will establish a new network of supportive and encouraging people around you. Your energy will help them too! Look for online groups to join, such as The Tribe. Start anonymous if you feel uncomfortable discussing your sexuality. [9] X Research source Read up on other queer people who came before you. Imagine yourself being able to support future young queer folks who come into your life. [10] X Expert Source Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSCLicensed Clinical Social Worker Expert Interview. 2 April 2021.

If your family would not accept you, it’s best to find a mentor that can help you. Do you know anyone who’s struggled with this same thing? They’ll be able to point you in the right direction and be a sounding board for this time. Talking about it, being able to lean on someone, will be a great resource for your overall happiness and sense of strength. [12] X Expert Source Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSCLicensed Clinical Social Worker Expert Interview. 2 April 2021.

Don’t come out to a particular person if it doesn’t feel right to you. This is a good rule to follow in general - there could be many reasons why, but if it doesn’t “feel right” then it is probably not the right time to come out to that person. The time to tell them maybe later, or never. What is most important is that you come out to yourself. Once you are at ease with your sexual orientation and have a healthy self-image, the when and how of coming out often fall into place naturally

Getting angry will only fuel their fire. To beat them at their own game, you need to stay level-headed, logical, and reasonable. Showing that their actions get to you will only make them happier. If you can’t muster forgiveness, muster indifference. They’re not even on your radar. You’ll feel so much better in the long run!

If you were raised in an environment that frowns on homosexuality, you are not worth any less. The laws in the Bible were mainly for health purposes - shunning homosexuality is right next to not getting tattoos, not eating pork, and not wearing mixed linens, but you can bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those things. Know that how you were raised is just cultural-specific. You are still you and you are good. If you’d like to morph your religious beliefs you’re more than welcome to, but you don’t have to. Take your time.

That being said, don’t feel obligated to come out to people for this purpose. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. There’s no harm in that. Your friends and family don’t have to know to still be there for you.

If someone can’t accept the one small fact of who you are that is your sexuality, and can’t still respect you for the person that you are, then they aren’t worth your time or letting it bother you, because it’s not your fault that the person can’t accept it.

Understand that a person who is gay is no different from any other person. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals and want companionship and love just like anyone else you know. Strive every day to be the best person you can be, and remind yourself of the positive qualities and attributes that make you uniquely who you are.

If you are unaccepting of certain races, religions, or other characteristics, why should others be accepting of you? Your actions need to echo how you want to be treated. Hopefully, others will take a cue from your behaviors. When it comes to love, take every opportunity to pay it forward, whether it’s loving yourself or loving someone else.