Let’s say you notice that you become upset when you’re hungry, when you feel rushed, and when someone uses your personal items at school or work. You could avoid these triggers by carrying snacks, giving yourself extra time in your schedule to get tasks done, and keeping your personal items stored away when you aren’t using them. You won’t always be able to avoid your triggers. For example, getting a last minute assignment might make you upset, but you can’t stop your boss or instructor from giving you one. When this happens, relax your system by breathing deeply, counting to 10, or thinking of something that makes you happy.
As an example, let’s say you catch yourself thinking, “I’m going to look stupid. ” Ask yourself why you think that. Then, tell yourself, “I’m well prepared so everyone is going to see me as a success. ”
Keeping your mind on what you’re doing and not on how you feel can help you control your emotional response. Additionally, it helps calm down your body’s natural reaction to emotions like stress or anger, such as tensing muscles, feeling a knot in your chest, or feeling like you need to cry. Let’s say you’re upset over feedback you received on an assignment. Instead of thinking about how you feel, name the actions you’re taking. Say to yourself something like, “I’m turning on my computer. Now, I’m opening the file that holds my presentation for next week. I’m reviewing the slides I already have. Now, I’m creating a new slide. "
As you breathe, focus your thoughts on your breath to help relax yourself faster.
You might say, “I need to return to my office for a moment to get my meeting notes,” or “I’m going to get something from my bag. I’ll be right back. ”
Go to bed at the same time each night, and get up at the same time every day. Turn down your thermostat before bed so it’s cool. Turn off your screens at least an hour before bed. Spend the hour before bed doing a relaxing activity to help you feel tired. Sleep in comfortable pajamas and bedding.
If you can’t live without coffee, you might switch out your regular coffee for decaf. Similarly, you can sip on caffeine-free tea, such as peppermint or chamomile tea.
Keep a planner or use the calendar in your phone to help yourself stay on top of things.
If you want to increase your confidence, do something small every day that makes you feel accomplished. You can also do more things you enjoy and take calculated risks. For example, you might try out for a sports team, enter an art show, or volunteer to take the lead on a project.
Everyone encounters obstacles at one time or another. If you’re going to be late due to an emergency or unforeseen event, call ahead and let people know.
Don’t expect people to guess what you’re thinking. If it’s important, just tell them. Let’s say you’re working on a group project and think one person is holding up your progress. You might say, “Our group project is coming along, but I’m worried you aren’t going to be finished with your part on time. Can you get it finished by tomorrow?”
For example, don’t add to workplace gossip or chat about topics like TV shows and sports. However, do speak up when you know the answer to a question or when you have a great idea to share.
You might say, “That’s a really great point. I’m going to think that over today and get back to you tomorrow with my response,” or “I appreciate your feedback. It’s given me a lot to think about. ”
Similarly, don’t gossip about others’ personal lives. People may perceive you as immature and unprofessional. If your friends or coworkers are gossiping, change the subject. You might say, “All I’m thinking about right now is our project that’s due next week. Have any of you started?”
If you don’t follow through, people won’t respect you because they’ll perceive you as being immature and unprofessional.
If you’re going to work, you might wear slacks or a skirt with a button up shirt or blouse. For a very sophisticated look, you might add a blazer or cardigan on top. If you’re still in school, you might choose well-fitting jeans and a trendy shirt or top that flatters your body shape.
For example, look for a fitted blazer that hugs close to your body for a nice work look. If you’re in school, you might choose a structured jacket to make you look more put together. Check that your pants aren’t too long or too baggy. If they are, you might hem them or have them taken in.
If you sweat a lot, you might carry disposable wipes with you to clean up on the go.
When you shake hands with people, make sure you use a strong grip.
