Perhaps your friend is just making new friends, and nobody intends for you to feel left out. Maybe the new person is interested in befriending your friend, but doesn’t click as well with you. Or you and your friend are drifting apart.
If you’re growing apart, it might be time to let the friendship fade.
Before asking for advice, find out if the person is willing to provide advice. [1] X Research source It’s okay to ask multiple adults for advice. You can think carefully about it and see what feels best.
“Kaja, I need to talk with you. Lately, when we’re hanging out with Melanie, I feel a little left out. I’m glad that you’re making new friends, but I’d like it if we could hang out a bit more together. " “I felt sad about not being able to go to your party. I really value our friendship, and I worry that we’re growing apart. "
“Sometimes, when you and Emily talk a lot about Star Trek, I feel a little left out, because I don’t watch the show. I’m glad that the two of you have stuff you enjoy together. But I feel lonely. Maybe, when it’s the three of us, we could focus more on things we all have in common?” “Sometimes when the three of us hang out, it ends with you and Joaquin talking a lot about cute girls while I just kind of sit there awkwardly. It makes me feel sad sometimes. I don’t know what to do about that. "
Even if they have been rude or mean to you, stay civil. Ignore their behavior, or set a firm boundary (like “I need you to stop calling me names”). Ask an adult for help if they are routinely mistreating you.
Plan outings together: to the beach, around town, to an amusement park, et cetera. This will give you and your friend bonding time. Do arts and crafts. Try painting, making friendship bracelets, drawing pictures of your favorite characters, et cetera. Get your friend’s phone number (if you haven’t already).
Try planning some events that involve only you and your friend, and inviting the new person along to some other events. It’s okay if you don’t want to befriend the new person. However, don’t actively avoid them or try to separate them from your friend—this is hurtful, and could lead to bullying.
When you enter the room, people walk away from you People say upsetting things about you behind your back You’re being threatened People make jokes that hurt your feelings, even if you say that it’s upsetting you People don’t listen when you ask them to knock it off The idea of talking to a certain person gives you a stomachache
Write in a journal. Talk to a good listener. Express yourself through art. Listen to sad songs and look out the window. Cry.
Invite people to hang out with you. Try making new friends. Go talk to someone who has always seemed cool, but hasn’t interacted with you much.
If people ask, you can say “I need some time to myself right now” or “I need some space. " Use this time to talk to loved ones, take care of yourself, and do things that help you feel better.
