Do this in every aspect of your life. You want to make sure you think about your thoughts every day and during all different kinds of activities. Try setting 5-10 daily timers to go off to remind you to evaluate how you’re feeling at that moment. [2] X Expert Source Amy WongLeadership & Transformational Coach Expert Interview. 30 April 2020. Being able to observe your feelings will also help you recognize that you can control your thoughts and change what you’re focusing on. [3] X Expert Source Amy WongLeadership & Transformational Coach Expert Interview. 30 April 2020.
When you have a situation like this, take time to analyze your actions and beliefs about what occurred. Write down what you saw, heard, or felt that made you interpret the situation in the way that you did. Ask yourself if there could be other causes for your friends mood or if there are outside factors that you are unaware of.
You can also use physical cues to tune you into how you are feeling. For example, if you notice you are breathing heavier or faster, so may be stressed, mad, or afraid. [4] X Research source If you can’t figure out exactly how you feel at first, keep writing down your reactions and thoughts about certain situations. You may need time and distance from a situation to recognize how you feel. You also can ask a trusted friend or family member to help go over your thoughts and reactions to help you figure out exactly what you feel. It may be hard for you to distance yourself enough from the ideas to truly know how you feel or what these things mean about you.
Sometimes values are hard to identify because the term and concept is abstract and often vague. Your values are your beliefs and ideals that you base your choices on throughout life. [5] X Research source
Identify two people you most admire. What are the qualities they have that you admire? What is it about this person that makes them admirable to you? If you could only have three of your possessions for the rest of you life, which would they be? Why? What topics, events, or hobbies are you passionate about? Why are these things important to you? What is it about these things that make you passionate? What event made you feel the most complete and fulfilled? What about that time made you feel this way? Why?[6] X Research source
Use these core values to understand and know yourself better. These values should help you make choices and identify what is important to you. Through analyzing yourself in this way, you are that much closer to unlocking your true self. [7] X Research source Your may have multiple groups of values. This is normal because humans are complex and feel many different things. For example, you may value honesty, faith, competence, and confidence, values that don’t necessarily group together. But these traits show you the kinds of situations and people you value around you as well as traits you likely strive for in yourself.
In this way, you can analyze how your experiences helped shape who you are, which encompasses your values, attitudes, beliefs, biases, reactions, and the way you interact with your world. Remember that even though you’ve probably made mistakes, you’re still a whole and complete human being with inherent self-worth. [9] X Expert Source Amy WongLeadership & Transformational Coach Expert Interview. 30 April 2020.
What are the themes that are present in your story? Are you always being saved or are you the person who saves others? Does your story have a theme of helplessness or ability? Is your story a love story, a comedy, a drama, or something else? If you titled your story, what would the title be? Divide your story into chapters. Why are the chapters divided where they are? What changed? What did you learn? What are the titles of your chapters? Did you label yourself in your story? Did you label others? What do those labels mean to you and what do they say about how you see yourself, others, and the world? What kinds of words do you use to describe yourself, others, and the world? What do these descriptive words tell you about your story and how you lived it?
For example, if you write your life as a drama, you may feel that your life is more dramatic and intense. If you wrote it as a comedy, you may think your life has been fun and upbeat to this point. If you wrote your life as a love story, maybe you are a hopeless romantic who either has great love or is hoping for one in the future. [10] X Research source
