Try to make your heartfelt apology in person, face to face. Texting or emailing an apology can seem disingenuous and may not hold as much of an emotional impact as an in-person apology. You should also choose a time that is most convenient for your older sister. Do not try to apologize to her when she is in a rush and on her way out or when she is hanging out with friends at home. Choose a time when she is alone and can focus on your apology.
For example, you may say, “I understand that your feelings may have been hurt when I read your diary without asking for your permission,” or you may say, “I realize that I made you upset when I said unkind things to you in front of your friends. ”
Avoid mentioning your sibling’s own behavior and do not try to blame your sister or make her feel bad. You are apologizing for your actions, not putting your sister on trial for her actions. Blaming her will only make her more upset. You may say, “I know that I acted badly when I read your diary” or “I can see now that my unkind words toward you were hurtful and unfair. ” You may also say, “I was mad at you but I should not have taken my anger out on you. ”
You should say “sorry” once to your sister, with intention and feeling. Avoid saying “sorry” multiple times as it may sound hollow or empty after you say it once. Maintain eye contact with her when you make your apology. This will let her know you are serious and genuine. For example, you may say, “I’m sorry for what I did to you,” or “I apologize for being hurtful and unfair toward you. ”
Keep in mind your sister is not obligated to accept your apology right away, or at all. You should be respectful toward her and give her time to forgive you. [9] X Expert Source Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MALife Coach Expert Interview. 18 March 2020. If your sister responds to your apology with feedback or comments about your behavior, you should listen to it without judgement. Be willing to listen to what she has to say and use this feedback to improve your behavior towards her in the future. Do not retaliate or get upset if she responds to your apology with comments or feedback.
You can start the letter with “Dear Sis”, and then lay out your apology. First, you may acknowledge your sister’s feelings and then take responsibility for your actions. You may end the letter with a heartfelt “I’m sorry for what I did” and a note that you understand it may take your sister some time to accept your apology. You may also offer to talk in person when she is less angry and end the letter with “I love you” to let your sister know you still care for her.
You may title the poem, “An Apology for My Big Sister. ” You may then use the free verse form to write a poem where you address your sister’s feelings and own up to your bad behavior. {“smallUrl”:“https://www. wikihow. com/images/thumb/9/94/Apologize-to-Your-Older-Sister-Step-7. jpeg/v4-460px-Apologize-to-Your-Older-Sister-Step-7. jpeg”,“bigUrl”:"/images/thumb/9/94/Apologize-to-Your-Older-Sister-Step-7. jpeg/aid132368-v4-728px-Apologize-to-Your-Older-Sister-Step-7. jpeg",“smallWidth”:460,“smallHeight”:345,“bigWidth”:728,“bigHeight”:546,“licensing”:"<div class="mw-parser-output">
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<br />\n</p></div>"} You may end the poem with a line that says, simply, “I’m sorry for what I did to you. ” You may then sign and date the poem and give it to your sister so she can read it in private.
For example, if you stole your older sister’s diary, you may give her the gift of a new diary with a better lock and key system. Or, if you broke your sister’s favorite item, you may try to find the same item and replace it as a gift. You may also want to tie an apology gift to your heartfelt apology. Telling your sister how sorry you are and then presenting her with an apology gift could end up winning her over. She may be more likely to forgive you if you offer up a gift with your apology.
Deep breathing. Meditation. Progressive muscle relaxation.
For example, maybe your sister tends to complain and nag you often about your life choices. You may try to focus on the positive aspects of her behavior, as she is likely nagging you because she is concerned about you and cares about your well-being. You may also try to keep in mind that though your sister nags you, she is also there to support you when you fail or when you are having a hard time. Her positive qualities may outweigh her negative qualities, especially when it comes to her treatment of you.
For example, you may feel like your sibling was always the golden child when you were younger or that she gets preferential treatment from your parents now. You could then consider your childhood through her eyes and realize how much pressure and expectation was placed on her growing up. You may be more empathetic toward her if you view the situation from her point of view.
Be willing to tell your sister the things you admire or appreciate about her. You may say, “I like that you have a good sense of humor, even when you are having a bad day,” or you may say, “I appreciate it when you stick up for me in front of the bullies at school. ” Complimenting her on her behavior will help to create a relationship with her that is respectful and honest.