Think about the ways your life is better because of your boyfriend. For example, you have someone who likes to do lots of things with you, or makes you dinner, or helps you with difficult tasks. Think about the ways you are a better person because of your boyfriend. Maybe your boyfriend inspires you to be more kind and patient, or maybe he encourages you to accept yourself as you are. There are a multitude of ways you might be improving yourself as a result of your boyfriend’s words and actions.
Furthermore, it is really unfair to trash talk your boyfriend behind his back because he isn’t there to defend his words or actions.
For example, maybe many of your past boyfriends were always late for dates with you, but your current boyfriend is always on time. Explain to him how good it makes you feel when he shows up on time, and how much you appreciate it.
For example, if you find his eyes to be very handsome, tell him that. Tell him what it is that you like about them. You can also do this with something he is wearing. For example, if there is a shirt that he looks particularly handsome in, tell him! When giving compliments, be sincere! This means not over-doing too! While it’s nice to compliment often receiving the same compliment from the same person over and over is tiresome and can even seem insincere. Try to find different aspects of your boyfriend to compliment.
Try not to give unsolicited advice in these conversations. If your boyfriend is complaining about how he dislikes something or doesn’t know what to do about something, sympathize with him first. If you feel that you have something to say about it, ask if he would like your opinion.
Believe it or not, listening is a skill that you must work to improve! Be compassionate. If your boyfriend opens up to you about something that he is afraid of or upset about, don’t belittle him. Due to social rules, men often have a difficult time feeling vulnerable. If you belittle him when he has made himself vulnerable, it is unlikely that he will do it again.
The key here is to do it without needing an occasion. For example, while taking him out to dinner on his birthday is very nice, it is best to do this on a regular day. When he asks what the reason is, just explain that you wanted to do something special because he is important to you, and because you appreciate him.
For example, if he loves watching football, you can support him by finding out what days/times his favorite team is playing, and having the game ready for him on TV. Whatever you decide to do, don’t make him feel guilty or stupid for enjoying it. If your boyfriend has confided in you that he wants to run a marathon, encourage him! Do some of his training with him, find out what is involved in a marathon, and discuss it with him. Attend the races he signs up for.
For example, you might go to the restaurant or coffee shop where you had your first date. You can reminisce with him about how you were feeling on the first date, and your first impression of him on that date.
Be practical here. If you’re going out for burgers at his favorite restaurant, you shouldn’t wear a ball gown with heavy makeup. Instead, you can wear a nice pair of jeans with a nice blouse. It is important that you style yourself according to the occasion.
If you’re in public, don’t go over the top. While what is appropriate depends on where you live, how old you are, who you’re with, etc. , there are limits to what is appropriate and what he will feel comfortable with. If you want to show your affection in public, holding his hand or a quick kiss on the cheek are likely to be OK.
