Approach customer service associates at retail stores to ask for help finding something or to ask an opinion on a product. Say hi to cashiers when cashing out at the grocery store and ask them how their day has been going. Be polite but be brief. The intention is not to strike up a long lasting conversation but rather to develop experience interacting with people you don’t already know.
Approach people at work or in social occasions that aren’t the girl you like so you can get practice making conversation with people. Comment on something to engage people in conversation. Try approaching someone at a party and saying, “do you know who plays this song? I really like it. ” Approach someone at work or school to discuss a recent assignment and steer the conversation toward more personal matters. Try saying something like, “I was going to start working on that last night but then I got caught up in a great show about dolphins. ” Practicing conversations in low pressure environments can help you overcome the fear of rejection and get more comfortable talking to people.
Practice smiling and looking people in the eye when you introduce yourself. It may be difficult at first but doing so can make you seem friendly and confident, which are both things girls often find attractive. Smiling can also serve to make you feel better about the situation that you’re in. Studies have shown that smiling alters the chemicals in your brain to make you feel happier and more confident. [4] X Research source
If the girl you like is in the middle of a conversation with other people, looks deeply focused on what she is doing, or has headphones in she may not want to be bothered. You should consider approaching her at a later time. Places like bars, coffee shops, book stores or even the gym may be good places to strike up a conversation. Many people go to such places for the social element and she may be expecting to talk to people while there.
Looking at someone from a distance for a long time without approaching may make you seem creepy rather than friendly. Your conversation should seem impromptu rather than planned, so allow making eye contact from across the room to be the catalyst that made you want to strike up a conversation. Approach her and say hi, then introduce yourself the way you’ve practiced.
You could try being direct in your conversation. Start by saying something like, “I noticed you from across the room and knew if I didn’t introduce myself I’d be kicking myself all day. ” You could ask her a social favor like, “Hi, I’m new here and don’t really know anyone. Would you mind if I talked to you for a minute?” If you already know each other loosely you may want to bring up a class you were in together or a party you both attended.
Say something like, “I’m always so nervous when I meet new people!” If you want to compliment her you could say, “I can’t help but be a bit nervous when I’m talking to such a pretty girl. ”
Ask her to elaborate on a statement she recently made. If she mentioned that she moved to the area recently, for instance, ask her about where she used to live by saying something like, “did your last town have a good nightlife?” Her response will help let you know what sorts of things she enjoys doing when she goes out. Try pointing out something interesting that is going on around you. If you are in school, bring up a nearby teacher and ask if she’s had any classes with him yet, then offer your opinion on that teacher. Try saying something like, “have you had a class with Mr. Thompson yet? He’s good, but he really loads on the homework. ”
If she doesn’t seem interested, that may be hard to swallow but at least it won’t be because you were trying to be something that you’re not. If she responds well, you know that you can be yourself with her and that’s a great place to start a relationship.
Asking for a phone number often seems flirtatious in nature, so it may be easier or more casual to ask if you can add her on social media if you’re unsure of her level of interest. Try saying something like, “would you mind if I gave you a call sometime?” If you would rather use social media, bring it up casually by asking if she uses the platform of your choice. Try saying something like, “are you on Facebook?” If she says yes, respond by saying, “would you mind if I sent you a friend request?”
Come up with a plan to help yourself overcome your fear of talking to a girl you like. Use the plan to create short term goals that culminate in being comfortable approaching her.
Practice can make giving a greeting or an introduction a matter of muscle memory, so you don’t really have to think about it when meeting with people in person. Practice in front a mirror so you can see what you look like when you interact and make adjustments to present a more confident demeanor.
More often than not, being rejected has less to do with you than it does with the other person. People have bad days, experience bad moods, or struggle with their own insecurities when it comes to dealing with others. Rejection won’t kill you. In fact, if you adopt the right perspective, it may not even hurt. Instead of seeing rejection as a failure, see it as a chance to learn from your experience and develop a better understanding of how to interact with others.
Don’t allow yourself to ruminate on all the ways approaching a girl you like could go wrong. If you can’t help but imagine the ways a social interaction may go, try to focus on imagining it going well. This can increase your confidence and make you come off as a more self-assured person.
