Fake confidence until you actually start to feel confident. You can do this by doing confident things, even if you don’t feel it. Start small and work your way up. For example: if you’re shy, strike up conversation with one person you don’t know each day. Work your way up to striking up conversation with that cute girl you’ve been eying. Use confident body postures to convey confidence and trick yourself into being confident. Stand with your legs apart and your hands on your hips. Don’t cross your arms across your chest (this comes across as being not confident). Chew gum. Weirdly, not only does chewing gum make your breath smell nice (which can be attractive to a girl), but it can actually reduce your stress. So before you’re around the girl you’re looking to attract, pop a stick of gum in your mouth. [2] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Bathe at least once a day. This is, obviously, just a guideline, but it’s a good idea to clean yourself at least occasionally. While there is research that supports women finding men’s sweat attractive, you don’t want to overwhelm her with your sweat. Keep your clothes laundered. Again, a little sweat and a little scent isn’t a bad thing, but you want your clothes to be at least moderately clean.
White teeth are one of the first things women (or anyone) will notice, so it’s important that you take good care of them. You also want your breath to smell good, which means brushing your tongue, as well, especially at the back of your mouth.
Make sure your jeans, or whatever trousers you’re wearing, fit you. Clothes that fit can enhance your body. Baggy clothing hides your body, or makes you look sloppy, while too-tight clothing looks good on basically no one. Buy nice shoes. While not all girls are obsessed with shoes (or clothes) a good pair of shoes can make you look put together, which is something a girl will register, whether she does it subconsciously or not. Pick colors that work with your skin tone, eye color, and facial features. If you have a nice pair of green eyes, wear a forest green sweater that makes them pop. Red and black are very good colors to wear if you’re looking to attract. Both red and black make you appear more powerful. [3] X Research source
Just make sure that you aren’t overwhelming anyone with your body odor. It’s a good balance that you have to strike. If you’re of the type who sweats a lot, make sure that you wash frequently and change your shirts. Cologne and body spray can add a nice little accent to your appearance as long as you don’t go overboard. Spritz a little behind your ear, on your face and chin (one spritz should do it) and on your chest. You want to make sure that your cologne or body spray mingles with your natural scent and pheromones. [5] X Research source
Having things that you’re passionate about gives you something to talk about. It’s one reason why nerds are big right now, because nerds aren’t afraid to be passionate about the things that they like. Figure out what it is that you enjoy. This means giving lots of different things a try to pursuing the things that you love. Don’t be afraid to screw up or not be good at something when you first start out (very few people can make a flan on the first try, for example). Being able to make mistakes without letting it upset your equilibrium is an attractive quality.
Take a dance or cooking class. If you want to know where girls are, they often take dance or cooking classes. A man who can dance or who can cook is a big catch among the ladies. It also shows that you don’t really care what people think about you, which shows that you’re confident. You’ll meet new people and have interesting experiences to talk about. Being a good conversationalist, telling interesting stories, having a life can all attract a girl.
When someone is talking to you, make sure that you give them your full attention. Make eye contact, avoid checking your phone. If you don’t feel comfortable making eye contact, try to look over one of their shoulders, or at their forehead, because it will look like you’re making eye contact, without actually having to do that. Listen to all people, even girls you don’t find attractive. This shows that you respect people and that you think all people are important and you’re not just listening to someone because you want to get into her pants. Unless she’s only looking for a one-night stand, a girl doesn’t want to feel like you’re only paying attention to her because you want to have sex with her.
This doesn’t necessarily mean be a pushover. If someone says something rude or disparaging towards you, you have every right to call them out. Treating people well means holding the door for that little old lady, or helping carry her groceries. It means offering rides to your friends because they can’t afford a car, and so on. If you get into the habit of treating people well, girls will notice that.
Make sure that you have respect for yourself, too. This is about confidence. When you talk to or approach a girl, don’t base your happiness on whether she’s going to be interested in you. When you make it seem like you’re desperate. Politely engage her in conversation and if she doesn’t seem interested, back off. Be respectful to other people when you’re around her (this ties in with treating people well). Avoid degrading women, whether it’s by telling a rape joke (just don’t), calling other guys “pussies” or using words like “that bitch” to talk about your ex-girlfriend. You’ll come across as disrespectful and immature. A lot of guys mix up being confident with being arrogant and awful. They say that women only want horrible guys who treat them poorly. The thing about this type of guy is that he exudes confidence. It tends to be the confidence rather than the crappy behavior that girls are attracted to.
For example: you might ask her about her job and when she tells you she’s working as a barista, ask her how she likes it, what’s her favorite part about the job, what’s her least favorite part. Obviously make sure that you listen to what she says. Don’t just be formulating your next question, or it’ll seem like you’re interrogating her without caring about the answers. Don’t get too personal too quickly. If you’ve only just met the girl, don’t jump right in asking about her relationship with her family, or whether she has any deep dark secrets (although asking this as a joke might be okay depending on the girl). if the two of you end up dating, there’ll be time for that later.
Rather than a big open smile, consider having a kind of half-smile. This is often more attractive to girls than full-on grinning. Make her laugh. Tell funny stories. Real ones are the best ones, especially ones where you come off as human. It shows that you can laugh at yourself. For example: you might tell her about the time you tried to scare your dad when he was coming out of the gym locker room, only to scare a completely random person. Be careful with humor, because not everyone has the same type of humor. Make sure that you’re gauging your reaction. Is she laughing hard at what you’re saying, or only laughing politely. Avoid harmful humor, as well, such as racist or sexist jokes.
Tease her gently. Don’t be mean about what you say, but gently poke fun at her. For example: tell her that you can out-dance her on the dance. If she is a better dancer, pretend that you are, instead. Eye contact is an extremely important part of flirting. Keep eye contact with the girl that you’re interested in, across the bar, while you’re in conversation. It’ll build a real charge of energy between the two of you. Watch her tone if she need some space let her in.
