One trick is to pretend your eyes are glued to the other person’s eyes with sticky taffy. Don’t break eye contact until a few moments after they are done speaking. Slowly and reluctantly look away, pretending like you are stretching the sticky taffy between you until it breaks. [6] X Research source Another trick is to count the number of times the other person blinks while you are having a conversation. [7] X Research source Know that some people may be uncomfortable with this type of attention. If you notice that the other person seems to be reacting negatively to your behavior or seems nervous, break eye contact more often . [8] X Research source
One trick you can use to help you do this is to visualize a leather bit is hanging from the ceiling or doorway. Pretend to take a bite on the leather bit. This will put a sweeping smile on your face, keep your posture lifted upright and your feet weightless. [11] X Research source
Look for a genuine smile. When a person smiles, the corners of his or her eyes will crinkle and the cheeks will lift along with the mouth. This is a true smile and means the individual is enjoying your company. [12] X Research source See where the individual’s feet are pointed, while either sitting or standing. if the feet are pointed toward you, then the person is having a good time with you. Likewise, if they are angled away, then that person is ready to leave. [13] X Research source While a torso facing you can be a sign that the other person is engaged, turning one’s belly in another direction shows that that person may be defensive or not enjoying the conversation. [14] X Research source Fidgeting hands or legs and arm or leg crossing can signal that the person is anxious, bored or angry. [15] X Research source
Tell the person your name and inquire about theirs if it isn’t offered. Tell the person, “So nice to meet you” or something along those lines that tells them you are happy to be talking with them.
Start with a compliment, such as one regarding their outfit. If they just performed or spoke during a conference or meeting, for example, then complement them on what they did or said. If you know about their work, find something about it to praise. Say something like, “I love your shoes” or “I really admired what you said…” If you are attending a party or other special event, you might ask, “How do you know the host?” You can ask questions like, “What’s your favorite type of music” or “What movies have you seen lately?” as ice breakers. Point out something you have in common, such as “It looks like we’re both wine/art/fashion fans. What is your favorite kind?”
Something like Joe, Joe from So-Co can work wonders to help you put a face to a name later.
Try phrases like, “Here’s what’s happening,” “How can I help?” or “I’ll find out. " Offering to help is a great way to earn appreciation and gratitude. If you can make an impact on another person’s success, then go for it. People will notice you, and you will begin to attract more people who like your proactive, supportive nature. Don’t be afraid to admit your weaknesses. People like those who are willing to confess what they need to work on or who aren’t afraid to acknowledge when they need help. Showing some humility will go a long way to make people like you.
If you need something to talk about, share good news. Be the person who has the positive outlook and has something uplifting to say. This could be anything from good national or world news, to good news for a company or organization. It could even be something personal, like the birth of a child. Have a few funny or interesting stories ready. You can start the conversation off this way after your introduction to show that you are easy-going. These can also be used to fill silences.
Say “It’s been a pleasure to get to know you, John. ” Some relationship counselors recommend waiting to consummate a romantic relationship. Holding off can increase attraction, allowing you to try a relationship and get to know the person first.
Focus on the big picture instead of the individual obstacles that stand in the way. Expand your interests beyond your personal issues. Everyone likes the person who can set aside personal concerns, lighten up and be engaged with what others have to say. Show gratitude for the people, events, successes and experiences in your life. Let this feeling of being grateful spill over into your conversation, and let the person know you are happy to meet him or her. Keeping a journal of everything that you are grateful for on a daily basis can help you to stay positive before and after meeting new people. [26] X Research source Catch yourself when you think negative, critical or judgmental thoughts about yourself or other people. Counter these negative thoughts with 2 positive things about the person or yourself. [27] X Research source Maintain a positive posture, keeping your back straight, shoulders slightly back, chin held high and your arms wide. Holding this posture during conversations can make you appear confident and positive and can reinforce your positive feelings. [28] X Research source
Speak up when you have something to say and speak with confidence. Don’t phrase what you say as a question with your tone of voice rising at the end. Make statements and don’t use uncertain phrases like “I think”. Tell yourself daily what makes you special. Look in the mirror and say, “I like you. ” When you can like yourself, others will like you too. Recognize when you do a job well, and focus on solutions instead of problems.
Getting a good night’s sleep, going to bed at the same time every night, turning off all lights and avoiding alcohol as well as large meals before bed can help you feel more energetic in the morning. [29] X Research source Drink water in the morning to replenish your body[30] X Research source and eat breakfast[31] X Research source . Get 15-30 minutes of exposure to natural outside light or use a light box if it is cloudy. [32] X Research source Take a walk. Being outside in nature for at least 20 minutes can make you 20 percent more physically and mentally energetic. [33] X Research source Avoid caffeine and energy drinks. [34] X Research source
You can follow up in-person or via a note, phone call or email. If you can, remember specific dates that are important to the person, such as a birthday, anniversary or graduation dates. Send out cards or do something special for that person.
When you are out and about, don’t stand in a large group. Make sure you are with no more than 2 other people. Large groups of men and women can be protective of each other, and you will give the signal that you are not looking for someone outside of your group.
