If you used to spend time a great deal of time with your friend, you should adjust your expectations when they begin a relationship. Your friend will usually appreciate your understanding and make sure to still make time for you.
You can arrange group outings to movies, restaurants, concerts, bowling alleys, or wherever else you like to spend time. You can even invite a group over to your home and entertain them. Try to invite other single people to ensure that it is not just a group of couples and yourself.
Beyond referring to yourself as a “third wheel,” you can also make a couple feel uncomfortable by saying things like, “I’m so jealous of what you have” or “No one will ever love me the way you two love each other. ”[4] X Research source
For instance, if a couple is talking about a topic you don’t know about, you can politely ask to steer the conversation in another direction. If a couple is being extremely affectionate in a way that makes you feel unwelcome, you can something like: “I’m sorry, but could you hold off on that until I leave?”
Including all three of you in conversations and activities can help keep you and your friend’s partner from competing for attention.
Spending time with a group on a date can also give you the chance to see how your date acts with other people.
To excuse yourself politely, you can say something like: “I’m sorry, guys, I’m just feeling really tired and think I should go home. It was nice seeing you both though!”
When trying to set up times to see your friend alone, don’t do so by being negative about their partner. Instead of saying “Don’t bring Adam – I don’t want him around,” you can say, “How about we hang out just the two of us this time? I want a chance to catch up. ”
Don’t expect your friend to spend all their time with you, even if they did before they got into a relationship.
If you raise these issues with your friend calmly and respectfully, you have a better chance of working out your problems than if you are rude or hostile. For instance, you can raise the issue by saying something like, “I feel like we don’t hang out alone as much as we used to now that you’re dating Sarah. I think it’s great that you’re in a relationship, but your friendship means a lot to me and I want to spend a bit more time together by ourselves. ”
By keeping some of your traditions, you can make sure that the bond between you and your friend remains strong. Don’t take it too personally, though, if you and your friend stop doing some of the things you used to do. Just make sure that you try to preserve the routines or traditions most important to you.
If you’re having a particularly hard time realizing this, make a list of your positive attributes and your goals. This will show you that you have an identity outside of your friendship. If you think of yourself as an active and valuable person, you can potentially increase your self-esteem, which will make you feel less like a third wheel in your friend’s life. Be grateful for the time that you shared together. [12] X Research source Understand that people come together for some time and then diverge. [13] X Research source Enjoy the excitement of moving forward and making new friendships. [14] X Research source
You can try to find new friend groups by starting a new social activity. For instance, you could join a kickball league, a political organization, or a book club. If you’re still in school, there are a wide variety of clubs you can join on campus.
When your friend starts a relationship, it can be a perfect time to explore any activities you’ve wanted to try. These can help you to feel a sense of self-reliance and self-fulfilment. [16] X Research source Hobbies and other activities can also be a great way to start enjoying time spent by yourself, if you’re finding that you’re alone more after your friend starts a relationship. [17] X Research source
In addition to meeting people through activities, friend groups, or at school, many people now meet partners through dating websites and apps. Some popular online dating platforms include eHarmony, Bumble, Tinder, and Match.
