It’s a fairly common tendency to become obsessive at the beginning of a relationship. It’s new, it’s exciting and this person is endlessly fascinating to you. By realizing that you’re not the first person to feel this way about somebody, you can let go of guilt and concentrate instead on dealing with it in a healthy way. Perhaps your obsession has roots in feelings of insecurity and fear, or it could simply be about being totally amazed by how wonderful this person in your life is. Whatever the reason, you can tame it! Ask yourself why you feel you need to mesh so completely with another person––perhaps you can answer this alone by simply working through the reasons and questioning them. But if not, don’t be afraid to seek counselling if you think that could help you overcome your obsessive tendency.
Don’t probe too deeply––ask a few questions but not so many as to be invasive and cause your partner to not respond at all. Listen to what your gut instinct is telling you. Most times, it’ll be plain as day that the excessive time spent together is at the core of the discontentment. Don’t play coy or naive; facing the matter is much fairer on both of you. If you feel your partner is pulling away, don’t force yourself on him or her more. It may be tempting to cling even more but you’ll need to resist this response. Let go and have faith in the one you love.
Be careful about giving gifts and when you give them. Gift giving can give the impression of an attempt to tie someone down if it occurs too early in a relationship. Moreover, giving something expensive too early can make some one feel uncomfortable and “bound” to you, and giving gifts which may be inappropriate will simply be embarrassing.
Make sure that your desire to spend time apart does not turn into an argument. Spending time apart can turn into a sensitive topic, especially if the other person feels that it’s an attempt to detach for good. Make it absolutely clear that this is about ensuring that both of you have time to enjoy as an individual so that time spent back together is refreshed and renewed.
