For example, if you and a friend or family member disagree about a political issue, then it might be best to avoid discussing that topic. If the person brings it up, change the subject. Try saying something like, “Hey, that reminds me. Do you want to go see that documentary about Abraham Lincoln? It looks great!”
For example, if you’re upset with your significant other for not consulting you before spending a large amount of money, try saying something like, “I feel left out when you don’t ask my opinion before making a major purchase. I’d really like it if I could have a say in the future. ” Or, if you are angry with a friend for sharing something you told them in confidence, you might say, “I feel hurt that you told other people about my secret crush on Jacob. I didn’t want anyone else to know about it. ”
For example, if you’re having a disagreement with a friend or family member, try saying something like, “I want to discuss this with you, but I’m not ready yet. Can we talk about it later this evening?” Or, if you’re caught in a conflict with a coworker, you could email or say something like, “I need a little more time to process this, but I’ll get back to you as soon as possible!”
For example, if you’re fighting with a significant other, friend, or family member, try saying something like, “We can sit here and yell at each other all day, but it’s not going to solve our problem. Let’s work together to find a solution instead. ” Or, if you’re caught in an argument with a coworker, try saying something like, “We’re not moving towards a solution to our problem. Let’s sit down and calmly discuss this issue instead. ”
For example, if your best friend is chronically late when you make plans together, you might make a joke about it by saying something like, “The next time you aren’t looking, I’m going to set all of your clocks ahead by 20 minutes!” Or, if a coworker often criticizes your work, you might joke about it by saying, “Hey Linda, would you mind taking a look at my proposal? If you like it, then I think we’ll get the job for sure!”
For example, if you and a significant other or close friend start to bicker about little things, sit down with them and talk about it. Ask them if something has been bothering them and if there’s anything you can do to help. Or, if you and a coworker frequently get into minor arguments about things you disagree on, ask a human resources manager to act as a mediator to help the two of you discuss the issue.
Try sending the person a message or saying, “I’d really like to talk with you about something later today. Can we plan to meet in the conference room at 3:30?”
For example, if you’re having an issue with a coworker, you might say something like, “Because this deadline was missed, we need to make up for lost time. ” Don’t say something like, “You’re incompetent and you missed the deadline, so now we’re all behind. ” If the problem is between you and a family member or friend, you might say something like, “The garbage didn’t get taken out on time, so we’re going to have to make a dump run. ” Don’t say, “You’re lazy and you didn’t remember to take out the garbage even though I reminded you, so now we’re surrounded by filth!”
If the person says anything that’s unclear to you, ask them to clarify, such as by saying, “What did you mean when you said that you didn’t get instructions from anyone?” Ask them questions to encourage them to keep talking as well, such as, “What else do you think might work?” or “How does that make you feel?”
For example, in an issue with a coworker, you might try saying something like, “Now that we know what needs to get done, let’s figure out a way to make it happen! What do you think might help?” Or, if you’ve just identified what’s bothering your significant other or friend, you might say, “Okay, so you don’t like it when I ask you about your job because it stresses you out. Would you prefer that I don’t ask at all, or do you just want me to ask less often?”
For example, if the conflict is with your significant other or a friend, it may help to bring you closer together in the end. Or, if the conflict is with a coworker, you may learn a new strategy for dealing with professional conflicts as you work to resolve the issue.
For example, if you are having an issue with a coworker, you might tell your significant other or a parent about it. If you’re dealing with an issue with your significant other, you might talk with a group of close friends. Spending time with your friends can also improve your mindset and help you to feel better.
For example, anger might manifest as tightness in your chest, a fluttering sensation in your stomach, or tension in your shoulders.
Practice the relaxation technique daily so that you will be able to use it to relax whenever you need it. For example, you might take 15 minutes before you go to bed each night to use your chosen relaxation technique. The more often you use it, the more effective it will be.
To practice empathy, try asking yourself what the other person might be feeling before you react to them. You can also look for facial clues, such as a furrowed brow or tears to gain insight into their emotions.
