“Would I be as upset over this if other parts of my life (school, work, family, etc. ) weren’t so stressful at the moment?” “Am I really this upset over this one incident, or am I already angry with this person over something else entirely?” “Would this person do the same thing to me if they knew how much it would upset me, or would they refrain in the future if I simply explained why I don’t appreciate this?”
Engaging in a tit-for-tat exchange in an attempt to hurt the other person as much as they hurt you. Insisting that you get the last word in. Plotting intricate revenge (or even just plain old revenge) in order to get back at them.
Sharing your thoughts and feelings in a calm, straightforward manner will make the other person reconsider their own actions. [4] X Research source Assuring them that they are safe to communicate honestly with you, too, will reduce the risk of future incidents. Walking away from the situation entirely is the only real way to deescalate it. [5] X Research source
“Do these situations always occur between me and specific people?” “Do they tend to happen at the same time (such as stressful periods like finals at school, unemployment, or the holidays)?” “Am I the only common factor in all these instances?”[6] X Research source
Also know when to make exceptions to your usual schedule for special events like birthdays, weddings, graduations, etc. [8] X Research source
If the other person doesn’t matter that much to you to begin with, the solution is much easier. Simply nix them from your life altogether to avoid being sucked into yet another drama (or at the most see them very sparingly). [16] X Research source
