Don’t let this person change your mind entirely. Instead, she should be able to support whatever choice you make. Try calling a friend and saying, “I’m trying to choose the right university for me. Can I tell you what I’ve been thinking?”

Make a list of the types of questions you would ask to help your friend. [6] X Research source Additionally, write down past experiences that would help guide your friend’s thinking. Pretend that your friend is choosing a university. What are the first questions that come to mind when think of your friend’s needs?

Gather enough facts that will help you see the situation clearly. Then start thinking about what is best for you and those involved. [8] X Expert Source Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MALicensed Therapist Expert Interview. 29 April 2020. In choosing a college, for example, it is important to think about what you want to study, proximity to your home, finances, the social environment, and other things that are important to you. You do not, however, need to know every fact about the university before you make a choice.

When a situation is framed in a positive way, people tend to be afraid of taking risks. On the other hand, when the situation is framed negatively, we are more likely to make a risky choice. [10] X Research source Maybe one university offers study abroad and the other offers a major of interest. Try framing it negatively. Ask yourself what would happen if you never study abroad or how you would feel if you had to change your major.

Try to ignore any biases you may have about your situation. For example, you may have heard that one college is better than the other, but you have not fully investigated why or how.

Try asking yourself about the true price you will pay for the decision. Think about if you are willing to accept what will happen. Do you have alternatives?[13] X Research source You may not be the only one who will face challenges as a result of your decision. Consider those around you, and come to a fair conclusion. When choosing a college, there are many factors to consider. It is your education, but family members often help financially. Remember to think about how your decision affects them too.

For example, people may be shocked at your choice of university. Accept that you made the right choice for your future.

Most people are manipulative in some way. The key is to notice if you feel that you have to compromise for someone else.

They may say things like, “No decent person would do that. ” Try responding to such statements with, “We don’t always need to agree on my decisions. ”[17] X Research source You may, for example, have a family member that attended one of the universities you are choosing from. Try saying, “I know you want me to go there, but I made a choice that suits my goals. ”

A loved one may threaten to withdraw affection. It can be emotionally damaging and unfair. Love should be without conditions, so note that such threats do not come from a place of caring. [19] X Research source A parent may threaten to hold you completely responsible for the cost of your education. Consider if this is reasonable for you. Could you get a scholarship if this happened? A loan? A person might also try to create doubt for you, such as, “You’ll never get a good job if you go to that college,” or, “You won’t be able to get into that college anyway. "

When choosing a college, for example, you may not have much time before the university deadline. Don’t allow other people’s anxieties pressure you prematurely.

If you have to give a negative response, you may want to say something like, “I’m sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but I have made my decision. It’s the college that is right for me. ”

Try saying, “I have weighed the pros and cons of both universities and I came to decision that is best for me at this time. ”

For example, say a short response like, “That’s my decision,” or “You seem upset. Let’s talk about this later” may help.

Try not to linger on the fact that your decision was overruled or badmouth the other person’s decision, even if you think your decision was the right one. It can be frustrating, especially if, down the line, it turns out your decision would have been better, but it reflects badly on you if you complain or have an “I told you so” attitude.