One way you can let go of jealousy is to stop comparing yourself to others. Accept that you can’t change your crush’s mind right now. Stop obsessing about your crush and focus on other things, like yourself, your friends, or your interests. [2] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020. You can repeat to yourself, “The negative energy of my jealousy is not worth my time. I am better than this. " Your jealousy may cause you to talk bad about your enemy or your crush. You may confront your crush or your enemy because you are angry and jealous. This can cause a lot of problems. Letting go of the jealousy or ignoring it can help you avoid these situations.
You can take the time to be sad and get over your crush. You won’t be able to just let it go immediately. In the long run, it will be better for you if you accept this and move on.
If you spend your time being jealous of your crush and your enemy’s relationship, you may miss an opportunity to start dating someone really great because of your jealousy. Look around at the people you interact with. Are there people that you have things in common with or find attractive? These people may be your next crush.
If your crush is dating your enemy, maybe your crush is someone you might not like. Why do you not like your enemy? Are they mean or a bully? Did they do something to hurt you? If your crush is dating them, maybe they are not a nice person like your enemy.
Just because your crush likes your enemy instead of you doesn’t means there is anything wrong with you. You shouldn’t feel jealous that your enemy got your crush when you couldn’t. There is just not one person for you.
Even if your crush and your enemy date for a long time, that doesn’t mean they will date forever. If you don’t like your enemy, maybe your crush will realize they’re not worth it, too.
Trying to sabotage the relationship makes you look petty and jealous, which is not something you want people - especially your enemy - to think about you.
Avoid the temptation to go up to your crush and say, “You are dating the biggest jerk on the planet! You should date someone nice and sweet, like me. " Doing something like this will only make your crush mad at you. Talking about your enemy to other people may get back around to them or your crush. Your crush might be mad if they find out you are badmouthing the person they are dating.
Don’t give in to the urge to tease or make fun of your enemy in retaliation. This makes you seem petty and jealous, and brings you down to your enemy’s level.
Every time you get angry or upset that your enemy has your crush, try to think, “Good for them. I am happy they are dating someone. " It may not always work, but it will help you start to train your brain away from negative, jealous thoughts. Another way to be happy for your enemy is to stop thinking about them as an enemy. Start calling them by name in your head. Refer to them “my acquaintance” or “that person I know. " Changing the vocabulary in your head can help release negative thoughts and help you be happy for them. If you send positive vibes out into the world, you will be happier. Being jealous and angry isn’t healthy. It’s much easier to move on and let go of jealousy if you think positively about the situation.
Meditate if you feel overcome with jealous feelings. Sit in a quiet room and breathe deeply as you focus inward, on yourself. You may even think about your jealous feelings and then imagine that you are letting them go. Think about them swirling down the drain like water or floating away like wind.
Hanging out with your friends can help get your mind off of your crush and your enemy. You can forget about any jealousy you feel by doing other, fun things. If you spend time with your friends, you probably won’t even have time for any jealous feelings.
For example, you may want to take up a new hobby, start playing a musical instrument, or take lessons. You may want to catch up on your reading or movie watching, or beat that new video game you’ve been meaning to. Doing things that make you happy will help decrease your jealousy and make you overall more content. [15] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
You may want to compare yourself to your enemy or think there is something wrong with you because your crush didn’t choose to date you. Don’t think that way. There is nothing wrong with you, even if your crush can’t see how great you are. For example, you may want to write down a list of your good traits. You can keep this list around when you feel jealous. You may write down that you have nice hair, nice eyes, or dress well. You may be a good musician, artist, or athlete. Maybe you’re funny, caring, or good at math. Whatever you think is good about yourself, write it down.
