For instance, you could read to younger kids at the library or volunteer at your local church. You could also help build houses with Habitat for Humanity or help sort food at a food bank.
Check around at the places you visit to see if any of them are hiring. Present the case to your parents. Explain the reasons why getting a job would be beneficial to your development. For example, you could say, “I’d like to get a job. Getting a job would teach me to be more financially responsible and allow me to at least make my own spending money. In addition, it will give me valuable experience for the future. I promise that my school work won’t suffer, as I know you want me to do well in school. "
Of course, you need to get an invitation to stay over from your friend and your friend’s parents first. If you’re already on good terms with them, you can even ask politely if they’ve allowed you to stay over in the past. You could ask your parents, “Would it be alright if I spent Tuesday and Thursday evenings at Georgia’s house for awhile? We’re working on a project for trig together, and I already have permission from her parents. " Of course, if you say that, you really should be working on a project together. If you need to ask your friend’s parents, you could say, “Mr. and Mrs. Jones, can I ask you a favor? Georgia and I will be working on a project together for trig, and I was wondering if we could work here two nights a week. I understand completely if you don’t want to have me over that much, but I promise we’ll work diligently and be quiet. " You can also ask your friend to work on her parents.
You can also show responsibility in other areas, such as making sure you get your homework in on time and trying not to fight with your siblings. You can also be sure to drive safely and not get tickets when you’re out and about.
Try writing about your feelings. Ask yourself questions like, “Why do I want to avoid my parents?” and then let yourself be free to write down what you’re feeling. Look at what you’ve written to figure out what you want. For instance, if you really are just trying to be more independent, talk to your parents about how you can earn their trust and ways you can start to do things on your own.
For example, you could say, “Hey, I’d like to sit down and talk to you at some point about something. When would be a good time when I’d have your full attention?”
For example, you could say something like, “I’ve been feeling restless lately. I feel like I’m getting old enough to be trusted to go out on my own more. I feel upset when you don’t trust me enough to do that. I’d like to prove to you that I’m responsible enough to be trusted, but I need your input on how to do that. " Don’t blame your parents. Rather, talk about your emotions to help your parents understand.
Remember that your parents love you and have your best interest at heart. Also, remember that they’re human. They’ve watched you grow up, and of course, they’re going to feel protective of you. Realize that it’s going to be hard for them to let go.
You could say, “I love spending time with you two, so I’d like to set up a time where we can get together on a regular basis. That way, I know I’ll get to see you. "
This tactic can be especially good if it’s something that will give you career experience, let you network, or look good on your resume.
If you’re constantly dependent on your parents, it can be harder to break away from then when you need some space. If you’re in a bind at college, talk to your advisor or even your residential hall supervisor. They’re there to help your figure out your way at school.
