There are many ways to build confidence or self-esteem. Try making lists of your strengths and accomplishments. People often focus on their downfalls rather than successes. Remind yourself why people should think you’re fun. Identify and discount any negative ideas you have about yourself. If you think of yourself negatively, others will follow suit. It is important to recognize where your weaknesses are and try to fix them. Don’t be overconfident. Few things are less appealing than egotistic individuals. Don’t be a snob either. People don’t like others who cannot be humble. [1] X Research source
Be relatable. People want to hang out with others that have similar aspirations and fears. Tell people what yours are. Talk about your life goals, family, other friends, love of puppies, or whatever else makes you tick. Everyone shares basic goals or concerns. Chances are, if you try, you’ll find common ground with just about anyone.
This is hard at first and takes practice. But the more you do it the sooner it will just become a part of you. Don’t think too much, regardless of what anyone tells you. Don’t overanalyze things and don’t spend a ton of time wondering what could go wrong, what someone else in your position would say, or how you should react to what they’re going to say next. [2] X Research source
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. You can still have fun with people even if you don’t agree with their politics or religion. Find things you have in common and emphasize them in conversation. If you know your friend has controversial opinions on a subject, avoid it. [3] X Research source
Ask questions. This is a good way to keep a conversation going. It also shows the other person, that you are trying to understand their story or problem. Offer advice if needed or wanted. Some people just want someone to listen to them. They need to get a load off of their chest. Be the person that listens. Give advice based on personal experience.
If you catch yourself saying something negative, try to counter your comment with two positive comments. Try to cheer up the people around you. It will show them that you are compassionate and will generally leave them with the impression that you are a good, fun person. Being positive is a goal as much as it’s an instruction here. Trying to be positive can have an effect on your own mood and quality of life. If you’ve had a terrible day, you can talk about it with people around you, but don’t dwell. Be positive that things will improve. Being positive helps to reduce stress, depression, and even blood pressure. [4] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Open your stance up. Don’t close yourself off by crossing your arms or hunching over. You want your body to tell people that you welcome their approach. Lean forward. Psychologists explain that leaning forward during a conversation indicates interest. People will think you are more fun to hang out with if you show interest in what they have to say. Lean slightly forward over a table when a friend is talking to you. [5] X Research source Make eye contact. This is another sure-fire way to tell someone you’re listening to them. [6] X Research source With all of these body language principles, don’t overdo them. Opening up your body to ridiculous lengths (like walking around with your arms and legs spread out as far as they can go), leaning too far forward, and refusing to break eye contact, can be incredibly off-putting.
Don’t be afraid to tell a corny joke or make a silly pun. Insert impressions when it fits the conversation. Do your best (or worst) impression of someone you all know, whether it’s a teacher or a coworker. Make comical references to popular movies or television shows. [8] X Research source Don’t be afraid of playing the fool, if you are comfortable with it. Dance like a complete fool, pretending like you think you’re the best dancer ever. Wear a ridiculous outfit, or a graphic tee with a silly message.
Of course, don’t overdo it and be annoying. You don’t want to make people uncomfortable.
Be wary of criticizing popular culture too much. Read the room. You don’t want to be the only one that consistently bashes popular culture topics. Have an opinion, but just make sure that you don’t offend or turn anyone off.
Don’t be afraid to learn to do something physical. Learn to juggle, do gymnastics, play a sport, or dance. You can invite people to do these things with you after you’ve developed the skill. They’ll admire you for it. And you’ll have something to talk about. Learn something new that excites you. You’ve found wikiHow so this should be easy to do. Learn a language, how to make Italian food from scratch, what it takes to do improv comedy, how to write fiction, or how to identify birds based on their songs. It doesn’t matter as long as it excites you. People like learning new things and if you know a lot about something, you can share your excitement for the subject with them.
Know about your area. Know about new restaurants or public events. Everybody has to eat, so if you know of a great restaurant, you can suggest it. Everybody likes listening to music. Find outdoor concerts in your area and suggest them too. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box. Look for different events like slam poetry, roller derby, museum or gallery showings, cooking classes, or yoga in the park. Participate in eclectic events. It will show just how open-minded and spontaneous you are.
