Always err on the side of caution. Treat fragile people as though they might actually break. You do not need to be overprotective–just thoughtful. If you are picking up a small child, don’t throw her in the air or swing her around. Hold her gently, with both of your arms, and be careful not to drop her. Be playful, but not careless. If you are trying to a get a child or other dependent to come with you, don’t pull their arm or push them. Pulling a child’s arm can bruise skin, dislocate a shoulder, and earn the mistrust of the child. Sternly but gently tell him or her to come.

This can include playful touching. Acts like tickling, poking, or holding can seriously bother a person if they aren’t in the mood. Respect consent. If someone asks you to stop: stop. If you don’t respect peoples’ space, then they will distrust you. If you absolutely must touch someone who doesn’t want to be touched (say, your child is throwing a tantrum, but you need to change his diaper): be as soothing and careful as possible. Do what you need to do, and then give the person their space.

Think of a hug. Try to hug someone close enough that they feel your warmth, but not so close that they cannot breathe. Always be aware of how tightly you are squeezing. Walk softly, but with power behind every step. You do not need to use all of your strength all of the time in order to prove that you possess it. There is strength in self-control.

Fighting–verbally or physically–will only inflame the situation. If you want to build a lasting peace, you must work to understand both sides of the argument. Do not be the first to react. Do not try to force anyone to do something against their will. Respect their position. Practice the art of compromise.

Give yourself time to cool down. You may find that are overreacting to a situation. There is almost always a solution that does not involve verbal or physical violence.

Close your eyes and focus on your breaths. Take the time to slow down your heart rate and balance yourself. Let the initial burst of anger fade into the background. Clear your mind. Consider counting your breaths–like meditation. As you inhale, count slowly: 1. . . 2. . . 3. . . 4. As you exhale, count out the same increment of time. This will keep you focused upon the act of breathing. [3] X Expert Source Sarah Schewitz, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 11 March 2021. Consider taking up meditation. This is a great way to center your thoughts, practice mindfulness, and control your emotions. [4] X Expert Source Sarah Schewitz, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 11 March 2021. [5] X Research source Search for tutorials online, and consider attending a guided meditation session. You can also use free apps like Insight Meditation, Calm, or Headspace for unguided or guided meditations.

Excuse yourself simply and gracefully. Ask whoever is making you angry, “Can we discuss this later?” or “I need to think about this. Can I get back to you on that?” Consider going somewhere that you can be alone. If you have a favorite spot–a shady tree, a beautiful vista, a dark and quiet room–go there. Surround yourself with calm. Consider finding a wise, balanced person to whom you can vent. Find a friend, or call someone, and tell them what’s making you so upset. Your friend may be able to calm you down and give you perspective on the situation.

  1. Use an “I” statement, question, or observation: “I’m concerned,” “I’m confused,” or “I’m frustrated” are good ways to begin your exchange.
  2. Describe the problem specifically. Avoid judgmental accusations such as “You never get your work in on time. " Instead, be specific: “I’ve asked you three times this week for the status of the systems report and I haven’t received the report or any response. What’s going on here?” 3) Explain why you’re upset. Talk about effects and expectations. For example: “Because I didn’t receive the report on time, I wasn’t able to present it at the meeting and we had to postpone making a decision. " That’s the effect. The expectation: “We really need the data. I want to meet tomorrow morning at 9 to discuss where you are with the project. " 4) Acknowledge the other person and ask for input. Let the other person know you have some understanding of what he’s going through. For example: “I know you’re working on several important projects. Tell me what’s on your plate. Then we’ll need to set priorities and upgrade the importance of this project. " Listen and let go. Once you’ve engaged in the first four steps, you can be more objective and can let go of any existing anger, hurt feelings, or questionable assumptions.

Try to grab hold of your anger and examine it. Ask yourself what exactly is making you so angry. Ask yourself if you are overreacting. Think through the consequences of your actions. If you react violently in this situation, will you burn any bridges? Will it negatively impact your relationships? Will you run the risk of being arrested, suspended, or otherwise punished for your actions.

If you find yourself hurting people without intending to do so, try to understand what it was that hurt them so. Is this person sensitive to a particular word or label? Did I grab their arm too hard without thinking? Consider treating others as if they are especially fragile, at least at first. Be as considerate as you can be without walking on eggshells.

If you can’t understand why someone is acting a certain way, just ask them. Tell them what you don’t understand, and listen carefully to their response. They may be just as confused about what you are thinking. Empathy is a two-way street. Try to be open about what you are thinking. Work to build a mutual understanding.

Consider each source of stress. Can you fix it with force? Can you change it with kindness? Do you understand why it bothers you? Let go of the things that make you angry–whether this is a toxic relationship, an awful job, or a grudge from the past. Commit to yourself that you will focus on the present and not on the past. Practice letting go, for example, when you are interrupted in the middle of speaking. Take a deep breath. Do not let yourself lose your head over something that you will forget about in a week.

Anger is useful for understanding your feelings about something. If you feel angry, look for the reason why. For example, if your job makes you angry, then it may be time for you to apply for a new position.

Get outside. Find a quiet space. Go for a walk or take a swim. Go to the movies. Get a massage or get your nails done. Do anything that allows you to forget your troubles for a while. Consider leaving your phone behind. You may find it easier to leave the troubles of day-to-day life behind if you are not being constantly bombarded with texts, calls, and emails. Be present. Reducing stress is fantastic for your health. If you’re always stressed and often angry, you may be at risk for high blood pressure. Practice de-stressing, and you may live a longer, healthier life. [8] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Avoid foods that make you feel more agitated or easily stressed. For example, caffeine can make you feel restless and antsy. Similarly, you may find that certain other foods stimulate you.

Be patient. It takes time to build trust. Practice being as gentle as you want to be, and continually evaluate your actions. Am I being gentle? Am I being kind? Do not expect anyone to forgive you. If people do forgive you for past violence, do not expect them to forget. You cannot change the past, but you can shape the future.

In order to do this, you must be prepared to take constructive criticism. It may be a challenge to stay calm when someone asks you to curb your anger–few things are more infuriating than the phrase, “Calm down!” Bear in mind that your loved ones are only trying to help you help yourself.

Run a web search for “anger management coach” or “anger management classes”. You can take these courses over the Internet. If you want to meet with someone face-to-face, search for “anger management coach” along with your city (e. g. “anger management coach san -francisco”). Enter with an open mind. No one can help you change unless you are prepared to help yourself. Work with the people in your life, not against them. Research your anger management coach before you make a final decision. If you can find reviews online, read them. Try to get in touch with someone who has been to see this particular coach.

Look for groups that meet in your area by checking online or with your local mental health clinics.

It’s okay to be vulnerable, and it’s okay to cry. You can be strong and also keep in touch with your feelings. Don’t be afraid to vent. Find someone to talk to about your problems. You may find that an outlet of support makes it much easier to cope with your stress.

Continually evaluate whether your actions are gentle or violent. Do not let yourself forget the person that you used to be. Eventually, with time and care, you can change your image: you can become a genuinely gentle person in the eyes of yourself and others. Practice leads to habit. Start today.