Give them a card or gift to show your pride in them. Say “Good luck today on your test” or “Congratulations on getting inducted into the honor society. I’m so proud of you. ”
If you can Drive and they can’t, take them out for burgers or ice cream. If you are too young to drive, or if you don’t want to, make some sandwiches together and have a picnic at the park.
Have a beach day, go out for a run, or go bowling. Have an arts and crafts day. You can try a new project together, or you can teach your sibling how to do something you excel at.
For instance, if they are over age 13, it’s probably okay to tell them about your first kiss. Keep your siblings’ secrets too, as long as it doesn’t concern their safety or put them in danger. In that case, talk them through why they shouldn’t keep it a secret, and go with them to tell a parent, guardian, or other trusted adult.
You might say “It bothered me the other day when you took my shirt without asking. I don’t mind letting you borrow things, but you need to ask me first, okay?”
You can even have a group text where all of you can communicate together and share memes or stories about your day.
Show respect to people beyond your parents, too. Respect teachers, elders, and other authority figures. Keep your room clean, come home before curfew, and follow all other rules. Encourage your siblings to do the same, and tell them why it’s important. You could say, for example, “I know it’s annoying when Mom tells us to clean our rooms all the time, but it’s always great when it’s neat and organized. And she’s so happy when we do it!”
Keep your language clean. Don’t swear or gossip about other people in front of your siblings. Set a good example for them.
Encourage them to do their chores, as well. If they are very young, consider turning your chores into a fun game. For example, play some upbeat music while cleaning.
Say something like “I’m sorry for teasing you about your dress, little sis. I shouldn’t have said those things. In the future, I won’t make fun of your clothes anymore. ”
If you see them being bullied, say “Leave him alone! Pick on someone your own size!” Go get help from an authority figure if the situation becomes physical, but don’t leave your sibling alone. Call for help instead. You may need to stick up for them with your parents, too. For example, if you think your parents are being too harsh on your sibling, you could say, “I know Joey shouldn’t have stayed out past curfew, but I know it was an honest mistake and he wasn’t getting into trouble. Maybe you could take it a little easier on him now that he’s apologized. ”
For instance, if you catch them doing something wrong say “I noticed that you had a pack of cigarettes in your bag. You know Mom and Dad don’t want you doing that. I’m not going to tell on you, but I’m really worried about your health. If I find out you’ve been smoking again, I’m going to have to tell Mom and Dad. Do you wanna talk about this?”
Set a good example through your own actions. You can encourage your siblings to do these things, but avoid forcing them.
You might say “Aaron, you play the violin so well. I can tell you’ve been practicing. ”
For instance, if they are worried about a test, say “Jess, I’ve seen you studying for weeks for that test. You got this! I’ll quiz you tonight if you want. ”
Never hold it over their head that you did something nice for them. This makes the nice act selfish because it becomes about you rather than them.
For instance, you might buy them a sweater or CD that you know they’d like. You can also make them a piece of artwork, like a painting, or you can clean their room for them as a gift.
For example, if they have a hard test coming up and a lot of chores to do, help them do their chores to free up some time to study. If they have a fancy event coming up, let them borrow some of your clothes.
