When the relationship starts up, it may be helpful to have a brief conversation about what each of you expects—let him know you don’t expect him to be your boyfriend and that your main interest is having fun.
Perhaps you prefer knowing that there’s no chance of the relationship getting serious because you simply want to have some fun. If you can adopt the right mindset at the beginning, it could save you a lot of pain and frustration in the long run.
Because every situation is different, there isn’t a hard and fast rule to tell you to stop or proceed with this relationship—it’s a decision you’ll have to make for yourself based on your particular circumstances.
Being a mistress could satisfy some of your needs while still leaving you free to focus on other relationships, your career, personal improvement, or health goals.
Give yourself space to develop a romantic relationship with someone other than your lover. You may meet someone you’d like to date, and you deserve that kind of out-in-the-open relationship, too.
If you live or work close to each other and you happen to see him out in public with his family, ignore him. If you have to interact, keep things short, polite, and professional.
Similarly, don’t send him gifts or packages to his home address or office. Wait to give him things in person so they don’t get intercepted by someone else.
It may be hard to do, but you’re going to need to let him control the frequency of contact in the relationship. Discourage him from things like getting a second phone for you to use to contact him. If his wife finds it, she’ll definitely know that something is going on.
Be prepared to get some serious feedback if you tell friends or family that you’re a mistress. People might not be supportive of your choices, so think carefully if you’re up to having those conversations with people you love.
This means no photos of the flowers he sent, of the trip you took together, the meal you cooked, and other related details that you might otherwise be excited to share.
You probably won’t be able to take these trips often, just depending on his schedule with work and his family. Aim to take a trip once every couple of months if you can manage it.
Your affair might last for years, or it may be over within a few months. Commit to enjoying yourself as much as possible and focus on the present instead of worrying about what might happen in the future.
It could be really tempting to put his wife down to try and make yourself look even more appealing; try to remember that he already chose you and you don’t need to give your input on his marriage.
The less clingy you are, the more he will want you. Maintaining a casual and nonchalant demeanor may make him chase you even harder.
