If there is a phone number, it may be something you should only use for true emergencies, or something he can call out from but you cannot call in to. He may only have access to their military email, especially if he is on a ship, and his connection may be unreliable. Getting mail such as handwritten letters and care packages may take significantly longer to get to him then you might think.
Military Terminology and Acronyms such as, “base plan,” “NATOPS,” or “weaponeering. " Naval Terminology such as “fathom,” “radar,” or “yaw. “[3] X Research source Nautical Terminology such as “capsize,” “quarter,” or “squall. " Different types of vessels, such as boat (a waterborne vehicle smaller than a ship), ship (a larger vessel used for ocean travel), freighter (a ship designed to carry cargo), and submarine (a warship designed to operate completely submerged for long periods of time). [4] X Research source
The frequent communication that is required to maintain a long distance relationship may result in a stronger bond than a traditional face-to-face relationship. [5] X Research source You may have different abilities and opportunities to communicate frequently due to the demands of each of your schedules. Try not to get discouraged. Your boyfriend’s schedule may be busy and he may be exhausted, but he will likely enjoy hearing about what is going on in your life and at home. [6] X Research source
Location and movement. Fellow service members (such as names and ranks of the individuals). Flight dates or time.
Will packages be opened before they make it to you and searched for anything? Will letters be opened before you receive them? Does anyone screen the emails? Is there anything I shouldn’t do or shouldn’t send you?
For example, if you are upset with your significant other because he or she did not call you at an agreed upon time, then you would need to tell your significant other how you feel in a direct way. You might say, “I feel hurt because you did not call me when you said you would. ” Then, you would need to listen to your significant other’s reason for not calling. Your significant other might have had a valid reason or he might have simply forgotten. To resolve the conflict, you might suggest a solution, such as deciding on a more convenient time for your significant other to call you. Be sure to pay attention to cues on the phone that your significant other might be upset about something, such as staying silent or being less talkative than usual. You might address this by saying something like, “You’re being more quiet than usual, are you upset or mad at me?”
Talk to him about how proud you are of him and what he is doing. Mention how you are proud to say you are a “service member’s girlfriend. ” Remind him of everything he has accomplished so far (boot camp, training, other hurdles). If he is worried about the relationship, talk about how it is tough but that you will be so much stronger as a couple for going through it. Help him come up with a detailed plan of action for whatever problem or goal he is having.
If he is deployed, know that his deployment length will depend on where is he deployed, what type of vessel he is deployed on, and his assignment or command. [13] X Research source His command may have a radius of several miles which he won’t be allowed to go outside of. He may have to stand duty for a certain amount of days at a time, meaning he may not to have a Monday through Friday work week. Your ability to see them, how long you can see them, or where you two can connect may be different depending on the status of your relationship (married, engaged, or dating). His command may be on land or on a ship.
Develop empathy. Reduce petty arguments. Help you both communicate better.
They might be hurting just like you or could be struggling with similar feelings. You all may benefit from relying on each other a little and supporting each other during this difficult time. You may encounter some difficulty in getting information about your service member from the military, if you are not married. Therefore, sticking close to his family can be a good source of information that you may not have easy access to yet.
If you don’t know where to start, try social media such as the US Navy’s Loved Ones Facebook page. There are also nonprofit groups such as Give an Hour. [16] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Connect to other girlfriends or significant others through your service member’s shipmates.
Learn something new, like a language or a musical instrument. Pick up a new sport or fitness activity, like running or rock climbing. Spend some time with friends, playing games, going to the movies, or just hanging out.
Leave. Taking leave is a process that takes time and takes getting approval. So if you are some of the lucky few that can plan a vacation or a trip, it may take a little longer than you’d like to get everything planned and everyone on board. Mail may take longer to get to your service member than you would like. Especially if he is on a ship, as you can imagine getting mail to him takes longer than regular mail. If they are overseas it could take up to a few months. Keep this in mind with care packages or mail.
Try to avoid blaming him. Instead of saying, “I’m mad because you never write me back!” try saying, “I’m really frustrated with our situation and schedules. I just wish I could talk to you or hear from you more. ” Use “I” statements when you are talking about how you feel. “I feel like we are drifting apart, or we are not as connected as before. ” Acknowledge the difficulty of the situation. “I know this sucks for the both of us, and there’s probably nothing we can do about it. I just think it is important you know how I’m feeling. ”
Make sure that you spend time with friends and family. Do not isolate yourself from people. Try to plan some regular outings with people every week to keep yourself connected. If you are invited to an event where a lot of couples will be present, then you might consider bringing a friend along as a “date” to help you feel less lonely. For example, you could ask another military girlfriend to be your plus one at a wedding.
