When you make plans to spend time with your niece or nephew for example, be there when you said you’d show up. Set aside time to be with them. If a friend invites to do something else, prioritize your time with your niece or nephew first. If your young cousin has a soccer match coming up, and you agreed to go, then make sure to put that down on a calendar. If something else comes up, make sure to contact them at least a day in advance to let them know you’re not coming. Avoid accidentally forgetting to show up.
Talk with them about real-life people that you admire, and what qualities make those role models special. Give your younger relatives examples of people who have made an impact for good. Use examples of people in your community. Sometimes historical figures can also provide a good perspective. Demonstrate to them what responsibility, respect, and integrity look like. Take this to heart in your own daily actions. If you’re taking a trip to the store with your younger relatives, think about ways you can model behaviors of respect when interacting with other shoppers, or when making purchases that show responsibility. [2] X Research source
For example, you could say. “When I messed up at the recital, I thought my life was over. Turns out, band really isn’t my thing. Taking time off from band really enabled me to discover my love for painting. I’ve met lots of new people and created cool work that I am proud of. ”
If you’re having some arguments with your relatives, think about how you would react if your younger relatives were in the room. Be calm and focus on ways to be mature in your opinions when talking with your family members. Talk with your young relatives about mistakes that you or others have made. Ask them how they might have handled the situation themselves. For example, you could approach a topic about mistakes in this way—“What do think about when getting caught for being tardy to class? I used to get sent to detention after being late three times. How do you think you’d handle the situation after being late?”
For example, let’s say that your relatives watch certain TV shows or love certain video games. Maybe you have a different taste in things. Be willing to try these new things that they enjoy. Let them be “the teacher” about certain things they like. Consider asking them things like, “I see you like playing this video game. Tell me about some of the characters you like. What kinds of powers do they have?” Avoid being negative about certain activities just because they are kid-oriented. Let’s say you’re in high school and you are hanging out with your eight year old cousin who wants to play with dolls. Avoid making them feel bad about what they like even if you think that playing with dolls isn’t fun or cool.
For example, let’s say that you’re an artist, and they are planning to show your art class’s works at a local community center. Consider taking them to see the community center and the art work. Explore local history with your younger relatives. Maybe there are old factories, stores, parks, or museums in your town that highlight what life was like many years ago. Help them to appreciate their community through history. Teach them to appreciate and respect others in their community.
Use active listening skills. [8] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RDLicensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021. Keep good eye contact. Provide validation if they’re talking about something difficult for them. Consider saying, “It sounds like that’s difficult” or “That’s a tough situation. ” Provide reassurance that they have support through you and others. [9] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RDLicensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021. Open up about what you can do to help or what support you can offer. Consider saying, “I know you’re going through a difficult time. Just know that I’m here for you. You can come to me if you need to talk about anything. " Give hugs when they’re hurting. Give high-fives when they do something well. This helps to build their confidence.
With young children under 10, keep a watchful eye on where they are and what they’re doing particularly in public spaces. Don’t let them wander too far without supervision. Avoid taking them to places that may involve vulgar behavior or make them feel uncomfortable. Don’t have them watch movies or TV that is mature in its content, particularly if it is scary or violent.
If you love to play basketball, get your younger relatives to join you. They may not able to play at the level you’re at, but you can help to teach them the basics. If you love to bake, ask your younger relatives to help out. Have patience that it may take them more time to learn, but they will be rewarded by helping. Take them to events where they can learn about different careers, hobbies, and cultures. Consider things like a local food festival or craft fair in your area.
If they’re under 6, find toys and activities that help them to learn basic problem-solving and creative thinking skills like building something out of wooden blocks or learning how to do basic dance steps. If they’re under 12, find activities that might involve exploring the outdoors or teaching them how to build or make something using craft supplies. If they are teenagers, it may involve helping with a class project, taking them to a local art show, or volunteering together with a local non-profit.
If they do something childish or mess up in some way, don’t laugh at them or make them feel judged. It’s better to be laughing together and finding something you both can share. Show them silly cat videos online or other silly, age appropriate things. Take this time to remember what it was like to be their age.
