Pay attention to your moods. Your emotions are important factors in how you make decisions, so monitor them. Be aware of what makes you happy and what is unsatisfying. [1] X Research source Know how your environment affects you. Notice how you react in different settings or situations. [2] X Research source Practices like meditation, breathing exercises, and gratitude journaling can help you learn more about yourself while becoming a more positive person. [3] X Expert Source Dawn Smith-CamachoCareer & Life Coach Expert Interview. 13 May 2020.
Make a list of the risks and rewards involved. [5] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source When examining the list of all potential rewards against the risks, decide if the odds are in your favor or against you. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice. You’re still the one making the decision, even if you listen to input from someone you trust. Consider how you would feel if your decision were broadcast on the nightly news. Is this a decision you would be proud of?[6] X Research source Does the decision compromise your values, character, or integrity? You may have to make an unpopular decision, but do what you feel is right an in line with these things. [7] X Research source Understand what you can and can’t control. Once you accept this, you can help focus on the things you can change in any situation. [8] X Expert Source Rahti Gorfien, PCCLife Coach Expert Interview. 17 December 2019. Focusing on things you can’t control can make you feel anxious and overwhelmed. [9] X Expert Source Dawn Smith-CamachoCareer & Life Coach Expert Interview. 13 May 2020.
This will be different for everyone, so find something small that you can do to calm yourself if you need to. If you’re at work, try stepping back and taking a minute for yourself. Go to the restroom and splash some cool water on your face. Or log out of your e-mail for a minute and text a friend. Pets are great for helping you soothe yourself. If you have a cat, pet him. This will help you deal with your stress.
Go to a movie by yourself. You won’t have to worry about anyone talking during the previews or hogging the popcorn. Dine alone. Going to a restaurant by yourself can be intimidating. But you might find that it is very enjoyable. You get to choose the time and place, without having to worry about another person’s appetite. If you fear you might be bored, take a book or magazine with you.
Try being more assertive in your relationships. Speak up if you feel that you are not being valued. Try to make more time for yourself and do some of the things you love, even when your partner has no interest in those things. This will allow you to balance being independent in your relationship with the time spent together.
Keep track of minor expenses as well as major ones. Chart how much you spend on rent, credit card payments, food, and transportation. You’ll also want to note how much you spend on entertainment and socializing. Try using an app or an online banking system to make tracking your finances easy and accurate.
If you’re not sure what motivates you, commit to spending 1 week where you notice everything that makes you feel excited, engaged, or lit up. Write each of those things down, no matter how small. Then, you can go back and look at that list to see the things that really make you feel happy and motivated. [13] X Expert Source Dawn Smith-CamachoCareer & Life Coach Expert Interview. 13 May 2020.
Build some flexibility into your budget. This way you won’t find yourself completely derailed if gas prices go up or your cat needs to make a trip to the vet.
Make a plan. Schedule a meeting with your boss to discuss your career goals and compensation. Be very clear about what you are asking for. Be open to negotiations. [17] X Research source Remain calm and confident during the meeting.
Don’t fall victim to bad fashion trends. Looking your best will help you feel your best. Dress in a style that is flattering and makes you feel comfortable and confident. Avoid the pressure to conform to your gender. Many women feel certain pressures to look and act in certain ways simply because they are female, but you don’t have to if you don’t do or be anything considered “feminine” if you don’t wan to. You do not have to wear make-up or dress a certain way. Likewise, you do not have to like stereotypical female activities such as shopping or romantic movies. [21] X Research source
Try exposure therapy. Exposing yourself to your fears in small doses has proven very effective. For example, if you suffer anxiety when meeting new people, ask a friend to go with you to a new social event. Gradually work up the nerve to attend by yourself. Seek professional help. If your anxieties are keeping you from becoming independent or achieving another goal, try seeing a mental health professional. Counseling can help reduce anxiety.
Be specific when asking for help. Be honest about what you need, and allow someone give you assistance.