For instance, you can say “I’m feeling uncomfortable with the decision made in today’s meeting” instead of “You should be upset about that decision today. ” Always make statements from your own point of view and perspective. Avoid being defensive or blaming others. If you need to discuss something serious with someone, practice your words beforehand.
For instance, perhaps you need to tell your staff that there will be budget cuts. In the past you may have used email to deliver sensitive information, but have found that caused confusion. Call a staff meeting instead and deliver the facts while providing time for questions. Schedule individual meetings as necessary or requested.
Say “Thank you for your honesty, Jason. I’ll take what you said about universal healthcare into consideration and I’ll do more research. ”
You should still acknowledge when you don’t know something. For example, say, “I’m not sure about that subject and don’t know the answer right now, but I’ll be sure to look into it further. "
For instance, if you are managing a conflict between your children, you might say “You two might want to consider a better way to divide up the space in your room so that you fight less. ” You can say to an employee who’s often late “Have you considered taking the interstate to work instead? It’s a bit quicker in my experience. ” If you choose to say this, say it to someone who you have a good relationship with. It could be perceived as passive-aggressive in some contexts.
Consider trying a meditation app such as Insight Timer to help you manage your emotions. Alternatively, you could try grounding yourself in the moment. Focus your attention on how your feet feel against the floor or how your buttocks feels against your chair.
Perhaps you are declining a wedding invitation. Instead of just replying “no,” send a card that says “Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I know it will be a beautiful day. Unfortunately, I have a work event, but I wish you nothing but the best and will mail my gift to you. ” Be sure to do this when giving constructive criticism, as well.
Perhaps your office is undergoing a restructure. Rather than going to your boss and saying “I don’t like these changes” say “With our department having increased our sales by double in the last quarter, making cuts here will severely affect our ability to make a profit. ”
For instance, perhaps your spouse wants to move so the kids can go to a better school. You might want to stay because it’s close to your office. Consider private schools or moving just one town over.
Perhaps you are creating a chore list for you and your roommate. You may not mind doing the dishes but hate working outdoors. Perhaps your roommate has the opposite feeling. Offer to take on dish duty in the place of yard work.
For instance, to your boss you might say “I’m very sorry to hear this. Is there a particular reason and is this a final decision?” Don’t numb out your emotions or escape from them with things like drugs or alcohol. Instead, talk with a friend, engage in a fun activity, or get some exercise. If you are really struggling, see a therapist or counselor.
Maybe you made an error on a project that has affected your team. Instead of shifting blame, say “I made an error on the report and that’s why we’ve been getting so many calls today. I apologize and I’m working to fix it. Let me know if you all have questions or need help. ”
For instance, you might be a supervisor working with an employee who is asking to work from home one day a week. Before saying ‘no’ immediately, consider their needs and reasoning. Find a way to compromise if possible and offer this flexibility to other staff as well.
Inject humor where you can.
Smile at them when you see them at first, as well.
It can be something simple like “Where would you like to have lunch, Kyle?” or something more serious like “Andrea, I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. ”
For instance, you might say “It sounds like having to take care of your mother and your small child is really taking a toll on your health. ”
Ask something like “Wow, you went to Greece? What made you decide to go there and what did you like best?”
