Ask yourself why you really favor one employee over another. If it’s because you feel that some of your less-favored employees aren’t putting in the effort you expect, then it’s better to have an open conversation with them about it instead of giving them harsher treatment. If you play favorites, then the employees who you don’t favor will think you’re unfair and will feel more bitter about working for you. Fairness fosters a positive, supportive environment; playing favorites is discouraging.
If you tell them it’s important for them to come to work at 9 o’clock sharp but are always at least half an hour late, then they won’t think you’re being fair if you reprimand them for being late. If you call out an employee for slacking off though you’ve been making personal phone calls or chatting it up in the kitchen all afternoon, then you won’t be demonstrating fairness. If your employees think you’re not being fair, they’ll be more likely to resent you.
The more you can write down your expectations, the more clear your rules will be. If you have a document, an email, a report, or any piece of paper you can point to when your employees have questions about what you expect, then your rules will feel less arbitrary and more just. If you’ve changed your rules and expectations, it’s only fair that you let your employees know about it up front instead of surprising them with the change later. They’ll appreciate your honesty and will feel that you’re more fair.
Of course, it’s impossible to be completely unbiased. Still, it can help you be more fair to get in the habit of checking yourself throughout your decision making processes. If you’re leaning towards one new job candidate over another, ask yourself if it’s because you think the person is the most qualified, not because he complimented you the most. If you’re unhappy with a report one of your employees turned in, ask yourself if it’s really because you have tension with the employee instead.
If you make time for your employees, then they’ll think of you as being more fair. Instead of acting like you’re too busy to check in with them all the time, make an effort to get to hear their thoughts on how the company is running; this can make them feel better about being heard. If you make rules and mandates without taking the employee’s knowledge and ideas into account at all, then you may develop a reputation for being unfair. Of course, sometimes only you can know what’s best for your company, and you can’t let your employees run it for you. Still, if you know an employee would have great insight into a certain situation and choose to ignore them, that may come off as unfair.
If you’ve made a larger oversight that affects multiple employees, then you may need to apologize in a group setting. Coming off as self-aware and wanting to change is far better than acting like you can do no wrong. If your employees see that you have a strong sense of right and wrong, they’ll think you’re more fair.
To keep yourself from getting fatigued, make sure to get enough rest, to eat rejuvenating lunches, to take breaks during your work day, and to try to avoid thinking about work after 7 pm. This can leave you feeling energized while remaining to be a fair boss.
Keep in mind that allowing a diverse range of opinions into your classroom also makes for a better learning experience for all students, even the ones who don’t contribute much. It’s not fair to let only a few of your favorite students express themselves. Practice calling on students who haven’t raised their hands and asking what they think. Though you should proceed with caution with students who are more reserved, setting this standard can make students feel more accountable in the classroom.
You can even ask another teacher to observe you to give you honest feedback. You may find that you’re spending twice as much time with some students and are neglecting others. Though some students do need more help than others, it’s only fair to give all students some of your time and attention.
Take the time to meet individually with students, and to let students who are struggling know that they have strengths, too. Praising students during class can make them feel better about themselves as long as you make a point of praising everyone at some point. However, putting down students in front of everyone can be harmful to a student’s self-esteem and is not fair behavior.
Try to spend about the same amount of time on each paper. Don’t give the students with stellar papers more time than the ones who could really use the feedback. Try not to pigeonhole students. A student who usually writes “B” papers is perfectly capable of getting an “A”, and you shouldn’t make him think he can’t improve by not recognizing a bigger effort.
For example, if one child genuinely forgot her homework at home for the first time ever while another is having the same problem for the fifth time, those students should not be treated equally. Though you can’t make excuses for people, when your students act out, try to look for the causes of their behavior. Maybe you know that one of them is struggling with their parents’ divorce and is acting out because of it; this knowledge can help you work with the child to ensure his success.
If you play favorites, then you’ll develop a reputation for not treating students fairly, and they’ll lose respect for you. The children whom you don’t favor may feel discouraged from trying in your classroom, since they’ll feel like they just can’t win.
Before you issue a punishment or make a new rule, take the time to think about how this will affect your children. It’s only fair that you consider how they might feel before taking action.
Listening to your children can also help show them how much you care, and it will let them see that you’re making an effort to know what’s going on in their minds instead of just imposing rules. Of course, there may be some days when you’re just too tired to listen. Still, make sure you can give your children the time they deserve and really hear them out. Put away your work phone or your computer and give your children all of the attention they need.
Every child is unique, so treating every child equally actually isn’t fair. Instead, pay attention to what your children really need and give that to them.
You should avoid saying “Life’s not fair” while also making it clear that the world doesn’t revolve around your children. You want them to feel that they are capable of reaching their potential in a relatively welcoming world, but you don’t want them to be spoiled and think they can have everything they want, either.
One of the easiest ways to be fair is to remind your children of the rules in your household. If they get in trouble for doing something that they thought was allowed, then they’ll be more likely to cry, “It’s not fair!” If you have children that are several years apart, it’s only natural that the older child will have more privileges than the younger child. Make sure that you explain this as best you can, so the younger child doesn’t feel that you’re being arbitrary or playing favorites.
If you tell them to treat each other with kindness but treat your neighbors or strangers with disrespect, tell your kids to clean up while leaving your kitchen a mess, and so on, then they’ll be confused and will think that you’re sending a mixed message. You don’t want your children to think you’re hypocritical if you impose rules that you don’t follow yourself.
