Actively listen to your friend. [1] X Research source Make compromises so that you’re both happy.
Allow two to three days for you and your friend to calm down before trying to reach out to your friend.
For example, if you friend said something hurtful to you about your weight, you might confide in another friend by saying, “It really made me angry when Anna pointed out that I had gained weight. ”
Discuss why you parted ways and why you are interested in rekindling the friendship. Address any hurt feelings or concerns that you may have.
For example, you may feel like you weren’t listening to your friend’s complaints. You may say to them, “I’m sorry for being a poor listener when you were trying to talk to me. ” Don’t expect to receive an apology in return. Your friend may not believe that they owe you an apology.
Listen to your friend’s concerns, then repeat back what you heard to see if that’s what they meant. Don’t argue with their feelings; instead, tell them that you understand how they feel before you share your side. Stay calm when talking to your friend, and don’t put all of the blame on them, even if you feel like it’s their fault. Try taking a deep breath or counting to 10 before you speak. Reach out to your friend to talk through your issues. Remember why you’re friends in the first place. Trust that your friend wants to work things out, too.
For example, if you have agreed to take a weekly yoga class with your friend, be sure to make every effort to keep that commitment.
For example, you might set a boundary regarding comments about how you raise your children. If your friend knows up front that criticizing your parenting could result in an argument, they may choose not to discuss it.
