Make a list of all of the diverse aspects that you appreciate about the world. Some examples might be different: religions, cultures, environments, skin colors, talents, personalities. These variables are what make human beings, including yourself, interesting and unique.
Accept your differences in a positive manner. For instance “Yeah, I have big feet, but that’s what makes me unique!” Look at your personal flaws or mistakes as opportunities to learn or to better yourself. [3] X Research source Don’t think of your unchangeable differences (color of your skin, height, etc) as flaws, classify them as unique qualities that make you who you are. Your ‘inferiority’ or defect can also be seen as a unique or individual quality. If it wasn’t for those things, we might all be generic clones with no unique traits.
It may seem other people are perfect, but really, they have their own differences. When you compare yourself to others, stop and redirect your thinking. Think about your unique traits that are just as interesting. Tell yourself that it is okay to have these traits. Understand that most people aren’t out there to judge you. Most people won’t know about how poorly you did on your last math test, or how you’ve gained a little weight since last summer.
Consciously admit your mistakes or regrets. Go through each one that stands out and forgive yourself for it. Say or think to yourself, “I made this mistake. I forgive myself for doing this. This does not make me a bad person. I will choose to not make this mistake again. " Identify positive things that you have done or accomplished in the past. Some examples might include: graduating, passing a test, maintaining a relationship, accomplishing a goal, or helping another person. These positive events are likely to outweigh your mistakes and can help you focus on the good aspects of your history.
Make a list of the the times you were happiest in your life. What were you doing? Who were you with? Then list when you felt most proud. What cause this feeling? Were others proud, too? Who? List when you felt most fulfilled and satisfied. Did you feel the experience gave your life meaning? How? Why? Was a particular need or desire fulfilled? Which one? Look through your list and try to identify which values these experiences represent. Examples include: growth, service, faith, determination, passion, love, loyalty, patriotism, honor, intellectual status, selflessness, etc. You can use the following list to help you: https://www. mindtools. com/pages/article/newTED_85. htm or search online for examples of personal values. Finally, go back through the values you have identified and try to determine the top three that are most important to you.
Make a list of all of the important components of your identity. Some identities include: athlete, mother, child, grandchild, passionate person, dancer, or writer. These are the important identities that you can learn to love and appreciate.
Spend time thinking about your strengths (everyone has them) and you will find yourself more happy, and also more confident! Look on the bright side of things! Imagine positivity. Using imagery helps improve self-confidence. [8] X Research source Imagine yourself as confident and completely happy with who you are. What does it feel like? What is happening? How did it occur?
If you are feeling bad about yourself, try saying something positive like, “It’s okay that I didn’t get the grade I wanted on that test. It doesn’t make me a bad student. I know that I am a good student, I just need to learn how to do better next time and everything will turn out okay. ” The key here is to not let small mistakes become part of your overall identity. Do not let yourself believe that having trouble at something makes you bad.
Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Poor health can lead to lack of well-being. Set boundaries with others. For example, don’t joke with others about things that truly affect your self-esteem. If you’re particularly sensitive about your weight, avoid joking with friends, as this may lead them to believe they can do it too.
If you want to become more focused on helping others, you can donate your money or time (volunteer) to a charity of your choice. This can help you feel like you are giving back to your community or the world as a whole.
Gain employment. Not having a job is linked to a lack of well-being. Let go of what you can’t change. There are some things you can work toward (gaining employment, losing weight, etc) while others you cannot. Things like your height, ethnicity, and family upbringing are very difficult to change in a healthy way. Instead, accept these as they are and work toward coping with them.
Protect time and space to take care of yourself. By being sure to sleep, diet, exercise, appreciate nature, nurture meaningful relationships, and limit social/mass media consumption, you can avoid burning out. [15] X Expert Source Michael SternLife Coach Expert Interview. 1 July 2020. Such expressive activities might include those which make you feel: alive, complete, involved, that it is what you are meant to do, that it fits you, and that you are truly being yourself. [16] X Research source Define your purpose. What do you want to be remembered for? Being a good parent, friend, helping others? Be persistent. Don’t EVER give up. Don’t avoid taking chances because you fear you’ll make a mistake.
Balance your personal and social identity. [17] X Research source You can do this by being genuine and honest. Be yourself and don’t put on a false identity. Celebrate your accomplishments with others. [18] X Research source This can create a shared sense of happiness. Celebrate accomplishments such as: jobs, promotions, test scores, new homes, engagements, marriages, etc.
If you are around negative people who put you down or treat you poorly, you may need to decide if these relationships or worth continuing.
Talk with your friend about what aspects you are unhappy about. If you find it difficult to talk with friends, ask them if they ever feel inferior or unhappy with themselves sometimes, and you may be surprised.
When you find yourself fishing for compliments, turn it around! When you notice how pretty someone’s hair looks today, or how cute her shirt is, tell her! This may not only make her feel good about herself, but also may help you feel happier.
Contact your medical insurance provider for a list of approved therapists. If you do not have medical insurance you can contact your local government or social services agency for low-cost health insurance. Or, you can conduct a search for low-cost mental health centers in your area.
