Deep diaphragmatic breathing is a powerful means to reduce anxiety. Inhale through your nose, channeling your breath into your stomach. It can be helpful to place your hand on your stomach and make sure it rises when you take in air. [1] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Then, hold your breath for a count of four. Exhale through your mouth. While a fairly simple procedure, it’s a good start to work towards a more laid back mindset.
What are you worrying about? Is this a realistic worry? Are the possible outcomes you’re imagining likely to actually occur?[2] X Research source Consider what, realistically, the worst possible outcome is. Is that outcome really insurmountable? Are there ways you could deal with this outcome that wouldn’t be so bad?[3] X Research source Is there any way you can prepare for what might happen? Is what you’re seeing and believing actual truth or just your own perception?[4] X Research source
It’s perfectly okay to make plans and have to-do lists, but you should try to focus on one thing at a time. You might know you need to do the dishes after work, but try not to linger on the dreaded chore. Simply relax and do your job. Mindfulness meditation is a form of meditation in which you focus on aspects of the present moment, such as your breath, your body’s sensations, and your environment. Regularly practicing mindfulness meditation can help you stay in the present and feel more laid back overall. There are many free guided mindfulness meditation routines you can find online. These can help you get started with regular meditation. [5] X Research source
If you perceive something a certain way, you may start imagining your worldview or perspective represents truth. For example, say you made a comment at work you feel have rubbed a coworker the wrong way. You may go from wondering if you bothered your co-worker to imagining her sitting alone, thinking negative thoughts about you. This is not a particularly realistic scenario, but if you’re anxiety-prone you may convince yourself your perception represents the reality. [7] X Research source In such a scenario, remind yourself your thoughts are not reality. Your co-worker is probably not thinking poorly of you. Even if she was bothered by the comment, it’s doubtful she is even still thinking about it. Your thoughts are, by nature, very centered around yourself and your own actions. Other people likely do not think about you as much as you think about yourself. Try to relax and remember this fact on occasion. [8] X Research source
Consider how you spend most of your time. Try writing a list of everything you do during the course of a day and roughly how much time that all takes up. How much time are you spending doing what you want? Compare that to how much time you spend on errands, events, and other tasks you feel you have to do. [10] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Is there anything you could stand to do less? Are there any events or activities you pack into your life that aren’t particularly fulfilling or personally important to you?[11] X Research source It’s perfectly okay to work at a pace that seems comfortable and reasonable for you. You may think you have to put in overtime hours each week to make more money, but are you really getting to enjoy that money? Try to spend your time more wisely, giving yourself space to rest and relax. [12] X Research source
It’s very difficult to be laid back if you have no time for yourself. Many people feel obligated to say yes when a friend asks a favor or when an organization needs volunteers. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help out, but before agreeing to something pause and ask yourself if you really have time. If you’re already suffer from a lack of downtime, sometimes it’s okay to give yourself some needed rest and relaxation. [14] X Research source You’ll actually find it’s easier to accomplish things if you commit yourself to less. Needlessly packing your schedule means your energy will be spread out across 10 different tasks. Instead, pick one or two tasks to focus on and do a really good job. The pressure to be perceived as successful often translates to feeling a need to be busy. Business does not equate success. [15] X Research source For example, say your friend is going away with her boyfriend for the weekend. She asks you if you could stop in twice a day to feed her cat from Friday to Monday. You could do it, but it would mean sacrificing much of your own weekend as your friend lives across town. You have a fairly stressful job and weekends are important to you as it’s a chance to unwind. Do not feel guilty about telling your friend “No. " While you technically could look after her cat, you should not feel obligated to do so simply because you can. It’s important for you to have time for yourself, to relax, rest, and have downtime. No one can truly be laid back if they’re busy all the time.
Try to count the simple pleasures you encounter each day. Begin when you get up in the morning. Even something small can provide great joy. For example, really take a moment to enjoy the taste and smell of your morning coffee. Appreciate the great song that’s playing on your iPod on your morning commute. Take time to indulge in pleasures. You might not have time to treat yourself to a lavish dinner out, but maybe make yourself a cocktail when eating at home. If you want to go on a hike this weekend but have a work commitment, take a half hour stroll around your neighborhood instead. Embracing pleasure throughout the day can help you feel more laid back.
Many people are online for the majority of their days. This fuels a lot of anxiety about missing out. If you’re on your phone or your computer constantly, it’s only natural you’ll develop curiosity about what others are doing. Anxiety about missing out and comparing yourself with others is inevitable. This can lead to feeling high strung and feeling pressure to participate in certain social events or rituals. [17] X Research source Make a conscious effort to disengage. This does not necessarily mean deleting your Facebook account and ditching your smart phone. Even short breaks from your phone or computer, about 10 minutes in length every few hours, can help reduce feelings of anxiety over missing out. Get off the computer every few hours and go for a walk with your phone turned off or in your pocket out of sight. [18] X Research source
Focus precisely on what you’re concerned about in the present moment. For example, say you’re stressed because your brother is coming into town. He can sometimes be difficult to get along with and tends to pick fights with other family members. From there, figure out what you can control in the situation. In regards to your brother’s visit, you can choose to disengage if he tries to bait you into an argument. You can try to be polite, even if he’s being difficult. You cannot, however, reasonably control or change another person’s behavior. Therefore, try to let go of any frustrating comments or behavior your brother makes. As you have very little control over it, it’s best not to linger. [23] X Research source
You can ask your regular doctor for a referral to a therapist. You can also call your insurance company and ask for a list of mental health providers in your area. If you’re a student, you may be entitled to free counseling through your college or university.
