For example, if you are at a restaurant with your partner and notice that you are beginning to feel possessive because the server is smiling at you all, excuse yourself for a moment. Take a mental timeout if you can’t leave the immediate area. Take three slow, deep breaths and during that time focus only on your breathing. Use the time to ask yourself why this situation is making you feel possessive. For instance, ask yourself, “Am I feeling jealous? Insecure? Why am I feeling so possessive?”
Tell your partner how you are feeling and what you think is making you feel that way. Let your partner know what they can do to help you overcome your feelings. Try saying something like, “I’m feeling kind of possessive right now. It’s silly, but I think I’m jealous of the attention you’re getting. ”
For example, if you are rude to a salesclerk because you felt possessive when they greeted your partner, then you should apologize to the salesclerk and our partner. When you are apologizing to someone else, you might say, “I’m sorry for the way I just behaved. It was uncalled for and won’t happen again. ” When you need to apologize to your partner you can start with, “I need to apologize for the way I acted. I was feeling too possessive. It’s no excuse, but it’s what happened. ”
Tell your partner you’d like to talk about some of the issues you all have been having in the relationship. You might say, “Can we talk about the problems we’ve been having lately?” Have an open and honest conversation about the things that have been bothering you. Remember that resolving some issues such as past betrayals may take more than one conversation and a bit of time. Leaving these unresolved can also lead to an ongoing lack of trust.
Trust your partner when they say they are going somewhere or doing something. You don’t need to check up on them to see if they are being faithful. Believe what your partner tells you. Unless you know for a fact that your partner is dishonest, you should trust what they say. Have faith in your partner’s feelings for you. Trust that your partner cares about you as much as they say they do.
Talk respectfully to and about your partner. Don’t yell or scream at them or intentionally say things to make them feel bad. Respect your partner’s privacy. Avoid going through your partner’s things or reading your partner’s texts and messages without permission – this most often leads to misunderstanding.
Tell your partner that you realize that you have been acting possessively lately. For instance, you might say, “Can we talk? I know I’ve been acting pretty possessive lately. ” Explain to your partner how you have been feeling and why you are feeling that way. You could try saying, “I’ve been feeling jealous because of some past relationship issues I have. ” Listen to your partner, as well. This should be a conversation between the two of you. You need to understand how your possessiveness affects them, too.
Ask yourself if you are so possessive because of something from your past. For example, did your ex-partner from a previous relationship leave you for someone else? Or, perhaps there was infidelity in your family when you were younger? Determine if there is something your partner is doing that makes you feel possessive. For instance, does your partner flirt a lot with others? Be honest about any self-esteem or self-confidence issues you are having. For example, do you feel unattractive or like your partner is too good to be with you?
Keep a journal or make a list of all the great qualities about you. List everything from your great eyes to your sense of humor to your love of anime. Use positive self-talk. For example, look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I’m a great catch and Kelsey is lucky to have me, just like I’m lucky to have Kelsey. ” Write it down when your partner gives you a compliment or does something to show you that they care.
Eat balanced meals and healthy snacks to make sure that your body is getting the nutrients and energy you need. Get regular physical activity. This can help reduce your stress level overall which will help you stay calm when you start feeling jealous and possessive. Try to get 6 – 8 hours of sleep each night. Set up a regular bedtime routine so that you can get the rest you need.
A counselor or therapist can help you determine why you are so possessive and help you become less possessive of your partner. [9] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source If you are involved in a religious community, you can talk to your religious leader about what is going on. You might say, “Could we speak later about some problems I’m having in my relationship? I feel I’m being too possessive. ” A marriage, family, or relationship counselor can help you and your partner address any relationship issues that you all are having, as well.
