Approach someone directly, rather than from the side of behind. Maintain enough distance so you can hear the person but are not in their face. [9] X Research source [10] X Research source Relax (do not slouch or hunch) your shoulders and spread your feet shoulder-width apart so your body weight is balanced evenly on both legs. [11] X Research source Fold or clasp your hands and hold them in front of your stomach, no higher than your diaphragm.

Sit with your back straight. Your head should be upright and evenly balanced on your shoulders. Avoid tilting your head to one side or hunching your shoulders. Do not cross your legs. This can communicate that you are distracted or bored. Regularly crossing your legs when sitting may contribute to back pain or formation of spider veins. [13] X Research source Clasp or fold your hands on the table. Having your hands in a location where the other person can see them to establish trust and demonstrate your sincerity.

When gesturing to make a point, keep your fingers together and point with an open palm. [14] X Research source Avoid pointing or jabbing your finger at someone.

Do not stare at the floor or look off to the side when speaking or listening. These will make you look nervous. Do not clench your jaw or tense the muscles in your face. Maintain direct eye contact, but avoid ’eye-balling’ the other person. [16] X Research source

Make sure you have someone’s full attention before talking. Talk face-to-face, not to their back. [18] X Research source Say their name when addressing them. [19] X Research source Be honest with the person you are confronting, but remember to listen to their point of view as well.

Words such as “always” or “never” tend to exaggerate statements and are good to avoid. [20] X Research source [21] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Bring the conversation back to yourself. Use “I” instead of “you” statements, such as “I feel. . . " or “I don’t like it when. . . “. Follow these with facts. [22] X Research source [23] X Research source

Speak at a level you would use for a normal conversation. Pleading or whining will make you sound desperate or emotionally dishonest. Speak in a clear, steady voice and do not hesitate. If you are preparing to confront someone, practice what you want to say in advance in front of a mirror.

Follow these basic principles of saying “No”: be brief, clear, firm, and honest. [25] X Research source You can justify your response, but be brief and avoid excessive excuses. Do not start every sentence with “I’m sorry”. Being overly apologetic will make you look immature or insincere. Reinforce your refusal with assertive body language. Maintain direct eye contact, hold your head up, keep your back straight, and relax your face and shoulders. [26] X Research source

Increase your heart rate by creating a playlist that organizes songs based on tempo, from slow (70-80 beats per minute) to fast (120-130 beats per minute). You can also alternate between fast and slow, loud or soft songs. Avoid music that triggers emotions such as anger or hostility.

Martial arts, especially Tae Kwon Do and Kung Fu. [29] X Research source [30] X Research source Running or aerobics. [31] X Research source [32] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Weight-lifting or boxing.

Take slow, deep breathes that come from your gut and not your chest. [33] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Repeat a word or phrase in your head such as “Relax” or “Calm down” while breathing deeply. Employ any of these techniques if you feel yourself getting tense or angry.

Use humor to counter hostile behavior or unfair treatment. Do not overreact. This will only lead to more drama and unnecessary aggression. Deal with controlling or manipulating personalities by following a negative statement with a question or asking them to clarify their position. This will keep you in charge of the conversation. Choose your battles. Ask yourself if the other person’s behavior is hurting you or just annoying. Sometimes keeping your distance is the best option. [34] X Research source