Don’t ignore them in public. When you are out with your parents you might feel a bit embarrassed by them, but pretending that you don’t know them or that you aren’t with them is rude in the extreme. It also has the potential to hurt your parents. They don’t say that you embarrass them, so why think that way towards them? Don’t roll your eyes when they ask you to do something. If you don’t like what they are asking you, the polite way to respond is to ask them to present your feelings on why you don’t want to do what they want you to. Think of all the times when you were a child and you asked your parents to do something for you and they did it without complaining.
Avoid making your parents ask you to do something more than once. Everyone gets distracted occasionally, so you might not always remember to do a chore without being asked. Try to avoid having this be a typical thing. Do what you can to help out around the house without being specifically ordered. For example: offer to babysit your younger sister so that your parents can have a night off. Or find out when garbage day is and take the garbage out before your mom has to.
Don’t give in to the knee-jerk reaction to argue with them or express your disappointment or displeasure. If you really need to respond with an argument, make it a debate and not a dispute–try writing or emailing them a letter or message explaining your point of view, rather than shouting and being uncompassionate. If they say no to you hanging out with a friend on a Thursday night, they might be concerned about you not completing your homework on time or that you’ll be too tired in school the next day.
Calmly explain your side of things. Give facts and don’t rely only on feelings. Obedience doesn’t mean that you don’t have a mind of your own and it certainly doesn’t mean that you will always need to agree with your parents. But if you disagree and want to express your disagreements, you will have to do it politely but firmly.
Make sure that you ask permission to be excused at the dinner table. Say “please” and “thank you” even for basic things. Hold doors open for people, offer to help people with their groceries.
In class look at the teacher while they’re talking. Take down notes when they give important information and look like you’re interested. Make sure that you are listening to your boss when they are giving you instructions. Again, eye contact is important.
For example: if you feel that your teacher gave you the wrong grade for an assignment, you would go and discuss it with them after class. Present some clear and concise reasons why you feel you deserve a different grade (and no, “worked really hard on it” is not a reason).
If you’re being obedient to your teacher then you’ll need to stay on top of things like homework, classwork, any major projects, what they require in terms of in-class participation. If you’re being obedient to a superior at work then you’re going to need to know what’s expected from you in terms of your job. You’re going to need to pay attention to long-term projects, and make sure to not fritter away your time at work surfing on the internet.
Backtalk can also be nonverbal, such as rolling your eyes or smirking when they say something you disagree with or find to be stupid. If they tell you to do something don’t say something like “This is totally unnecessary. " If you have questions or want to know why, ask respectfully but assertively.
Be polite and considerate. Say “please” and “thank you”. However, remember never to apologize for something or assume responsibility for it if you did not do it.
Try to avoid taking ownership of the things that happen in your life. When something good happens, remind yourself that it was through the grace of your Great Teacher. If something unhappy happens it is a learning experience brought about by Him or Her, too.
For example: such a choice could be sacrificing your career path, because it doesn’t align with your beliefs. It could also be something like taking significant time out of your day to incorporate prayer.
It does not mean that you have carte blanche to criticize other people’s beliefs or infringe on their way of living.
