Tension in your muscles Restless, jiggling feet or legs Clenching your hands Short breaths An elevated heart rate Irritability or anger
Your environment not conforming to your expectations. For example, you might hit unexpected traffic, or a restaurant might be more crowded than you’d thought, making you feel irritated and frustrated. Other people not behaving the way you want them to. For instance, you might get impatient that someone in front of you at the grocery store is blocking the whole aisle or chatting with the clerk for too long. When you can’t master a new skill fast enough. You might get impatient, for example, if you can’t figure out a new math or computer concept. You may have an unrealistic expectation that you will quickly grasp all new concepts. When you can’t control your thoughts. You might get impatient with yourself for not being able to dictate what emotions and thoughts pop up in your mind, even if you recognize there’s not much you can do to stop it.
One good way to ground yourself is to focus on your environment. For example, you might take a few moments to think about how your feet feel when you are standing on the floor, what it feels like to sit in a chair, or the sensation of an object in your hand. You can also try a simple grounding exercise like looking for 3 things in your environment that are blue. These simple actions help bring you back into the present moment.
Besides calming your body, taking a few deep breaths will force you to slow down before you say or do anything rash.
If you’re frustrated with an essay you’re writing, for example, you could focus on making your environment more pleasant. Put on music that helps you concentrate, make some tea, or have a snack. You can also address head-on what’s really bothering you about the situation, such as the fact that the essay is taking a long time to write. For example, you could cover up your clock so you don’t feel a time crunch.
If you’re stuck in traffic, for example, chat with another person in the car or, if your car has Bluetooth capability, call a friend or family member. Change the radio station or put in a new CD and sing along. If you are stuck in a tedious or frustrating situation, try making productive use of your time. For example, if you’re driving, listen to an interesting audiobook. If you have to sit in a doctor’s office for a long time, try to bring a project with you to work on.
For example, you might realize that your impatience stems from getting frustrated at other people. You might write, “June 1, math class, 2pm. I felt impatient because John was working so slowly. My muscles started feeling tense. ” Journaling about your frustrations has the added bonus of letting you vent your emotions, which can make you feel calmer and less stressed. Your impatience might be triggered by situations, environmental stimuli, or even your physical state. For example, you may find that you feel more impatient when you spend a lot of time on social media. [7] X Research source Some people also feel more impatient when they eat or drink certain things, such as coffee and other caffeinated beverages. [8] X Research source
For example, if you often get impatient with your friends or family members, your strategy might be: “Take 3 deep breaths. Explain why you’re feeling frustrated. Take a break and walk away if you’re still feeling impatient. ” If you find that your impatience is made worse by certain foods or drinks, try cutting them out of your diet. If social media frustrates you and gets you down, consider turning off your phone alerts or using an app or plugin that prevents you from logging on for a few hours during the day. Get creative with your solutions and try different things to see what works best. Give yourself time to change; it won’t happen overnight, but you’ll be able to improve yourself in time.
Practice doing these quick meditations a few times a day, even when you’re not feeling impatient. Getting comfortable meditating when you’re calm will make it easier to do so in the heat of the moment.
If you are impatient in your weight loss plan, you may need to remind yourself the excess weight did not all go on in a week, and it will take time for it to come off. If you find yourself impatient because of traffic, you may need to rethink your belief that your commute takes 20 minutes if in reality it usually takes an average of 35. Just because that one time it took 20 minutes does not mean every trip to work should be expected to take 20 minutes. If you get frustrated that your partner chronically forgets your anniversary, and this is upsetting to you, instead choose to accept that remembering this date does not come as naturally as it does for you. Put the date on a shared calendar and ask him a week in advance to plan together some enjoyable activities.
If you have time, try to incorporate more intense physical activity too, like jogging, swimming, biking, or doing light weights. Sometimes you can use exercise to counteract your impatience in the moment. If you’re feeling impatient while working on a project, for example, get up from your desk and take a five-minute walk. If you’re stuck in traffic, try moving your arms and head to the beat of your music.
For example, you could pack a book, a crossword puzzle, or a travel-size game when you think you might have to wait for a while, such as at the doctor’s office or a crowded grocery store. You can also distract yourself with whatever is at hand. Listen in on other people’s conversations, look at the other drivers stuck in traffic with you, or read the headlines of magazines or newspapers while you wait in line.
For example, if you’re feeling frustrated about a project, talk to your boss or teacher about getting some help from or a co-worker or fellow student. Say, “I’ve been working really hard on this, but it’s becoming too much for me my own. Could I get a partner to divide the work with?” Never feel bad about asking for help, especially when it has to do with your mental health. People will often be happy to help, and you’ll feel much more relaxed when you’re able to share the burden.
In true cases of life or death, broadening your perspective might not help. For example, if you’re waiting for an ambulance to help an injured person, it may matter very much whether the ambulance arrives late. In this situation, channel your impatience into doing whatever you can, whether that’s making the person comfortable or giving more information to the emergency line operator.
Feeling impatient with yourself often stems from the idea that it’s always better to go faster, which isn’t necessarily true. By proceeding slowly and patiently, you’ll understand the concept more deeply, and might even enjoy yourself more along the way. Remember that most things take time and effort to master. Being patient with yourself is the best gift you can give yourself.
For example, instead of losing your patience when a friend spills a drink, remember that it was an accident and no one is perfect. Take a moment to breathe, reassure them that it’s okay, and move on.
You might say, for example, that you’re grateful to have a roof over your head, dreams and goals for the future, and friends that love you.
For example, you might feel frustrated when you’re applying to jobs but can’t seem to catch a break. Being confident in yourself will keep you optimistic and help motivate you to keep working hard until things look up.
