Offer people food, water, or something else when you see a need that could be met.
Wait your turn. Don’t cut in line, or cut people off in traffic, unless it’s an emergency (e. g. rushing to the hospital). Avoid disruptive talking in public. Be quiet once the lights go down in a movie theater. Don’t talk on your cell phone in indoor places like a coffee shop, store, or restaurant. (Take the call outside instead. ) Clean up after yourself. If you make a mess, clean it. Throw away or recycle your trash, including small things like cigarette butts or food wrappers. Speak politely. Say please and thank you. Avoid name-calling or aggressive speech. Don’t swear in polite company. [3] X Research source Follow rules that keep things safe and pleasant. Don’t eat or drink if it’s not allowed somewhere. Obey signs like “don’t feed the birds” or “only use a public computer for half an hour” so that the environment is pleasant for everyone.
Be kind to people regardless of their social status. Examine and let go of any negative attitudes you have towards women, people of color, people with disabilities, LGBTQ+ people, people of different religions, poor people, overweight people, and other who might be viewed negatively by society. Being different does not make someone inferior. Take a “live and let live” approach. Be kind to people you encounter throughout the day who aren’t always treated with respect. For example, homeless people are often overlooked or treated rudely, but they deserve the same respect and courtesy as anyone else.
Cultural differences Different religious beliefs Different political beliefs (aside from violent extremism) Sports team preferences
Clean your own messes. Pick up your trash and throw it away. Don’t leave wrappers or cigarette butts for other people to clean. Don’t graffiti public spaces (unless you’re an artist, and you have permission).
Do your part to avoid polluting the environment. Understand how your actions affect the rest of the world. For example, using pesticides on your lawn could contaminate the groundwater and have a negative impact on your environment. Try to make conscientious lifestyle choices. Know candidates’ positions on the environment when you vote.
When offering hugs and kisses, let the person see it coming so they can decline it if they don’t want it for any reason. Don’t make a big fuss if they say no. Ask before prolonged contact, such as playing with someone’s hair or rubbing their back. Treat disability equipment (canes, wheelchairs) and service animals like extensions of a person’s body. Don’t touch without permission.
Knock and pause before entering a bedroom. Someone inside should have time to call out something like “Don’t come in!” or “Just a minute!” before you enter. Don’t eavesdrop. Don’t push people to share personal information (from weekend plans to intimate dating details) if they don’t volunteer it. If someone seems uncomfortable with a question you asked, try saying “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to” to take off the pressure.
Making eye contact is a good way to show that you respect what someone is saying. Other body language cues can help as well. Face the person to whom you’re talking and try not to fidget while they speak. [13] X Research source (If you’re disabled and can’t do this comfortably, just look at their face and fidget quietly. ) Process what the person is saying instead of just absently nodding your head.
It’s okay to pause while you think about what to say. Try not to be condescending. Don’t over explain a concept the other person clearly already understands. For example, don’t tell a varsity athlete how to hit a baseball. Don’t be patronizing. Along similar lines, talking down to someone can make them feel disrespected. Avoid phrases like “Don’t worry your little head about it,” or “It’s a guy thing, you wouldn’t understand. " Don’t ask intrusive questions. For example, don’t ask acquaintances about scars, disabilities, or details of their love lives.
If you want someone to do something for you, say something like “Would you please. . . ?”
Never resort to insulting someone during an argument. Don’t let “I don’t agree with your view on that” escalate to “You’re an idiot. " If necessary, halt the conversation before things get too out of control and you say something you’ll regret. You’re not going to get anywhere by disrespecting the other person; you’ll just make a new enemy.
If you have nothing good to say, it’s better not to say it at all. Politely object to gossiping if someone else starts it. Try saying something like “I’m not interested in gossip” or “I don’t want to say anything about him that I wouldn’t be willing to say to his face. "
Avoid saying “but” to justify your actions. If you wish to explain why you behaved the way you did, try “and” instead. For example, “I’m sorry I winced when you said you were autistic, and I was acting on a misconception of what autism is. I’m sorry I upset you, and I accept you for who you are. " This explains the action without excusing it.
Elders are also deserving of extra respect. Respect your parents, grandparents, and other elders in the community for the valuable wisdom they have to share.
An “others first” approach is kind, but is only realistic to a certain extent. Put your basic needs (food, sleep, mental health) first. Once your needs are met, you will then be able to help other people effectively.
