If your date does not want to give out their telephone number before asking for your own, that is considered sketchy. Do not be lulled into a false sense of security just because you know someone; 8 out of 10 rape victims know their assailant. [1] X Research source Have a healthy amount of skepticism: just because someone tells you something doesn’t mean they couldn’t be lying, particularly if it sounds too good to be true.
If you have a picture of the person you’re going on a date with, give that to your friend, as well. [4] X Expert Source Collette GeeRelationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.
If you have another friend who is also dating who would be willing, you could try making it a double-date so that you’re sure to not be alone.
If you take a bus or have someone coming to pick you up from your date, that gives you an extra excuse to leave if you need it.
People have traditionally blamed women for “asking for it”, when sexually assaulted when wearing sexy clothing, but this is no excuse or reason. Dress for mobility. If you have to leave a situation, or walk a block to get to the bus stop, be sure you can do so without getting blisters, tottering on too-high heels, getting frostbite, or otherwise unable to simply go if you need to.
Although some people may feel they are unnecessary, bringing mace and/or a rape whistle on the off chance your date turns violent could prevent you from becoming a victim, and should be very seriously considered.
A good partner will not be impatient and will respect your boundaries and opinions. Someone who continues to pressure you after you have said ’no’ is putting off a very strong red flag.
They show up inappropriately angry or in a bad mood, which may or may not become directed toward you. They treat the waitstaff, employees, or strangers at any place where you meet poorly or aggressively. They refer to their exes or members of the opposite sex using derogatory language, or call them “crazy. " They insult you or put you down. They tell you information that directly contradicts things they’ve told you previously, ie: it looks like they’re lying to you. They make strange comments that seem out of place, like talking about their machete collection or punching exes. [10] X Research source They ask questions about your or offer details about their sexual or marital history that seems inappropriate for a first date. They start making explicitly sexual comments or advances, or reveal their genitalia in public places.
Do not fall into the trap of feeling like you have to explain away or excuse a date’s bad or strange behavior.
Try planning a date during the daytime, when you normally won’t be expected to drink anyway. Also, more people are out and about during the daytime, which can give you some extra security. [13] X Expert Source Collette GeeRelationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist Expert Interview. 1 May 2020. If you do order a drink from the bar, opt for a bottled beer, and make sure it’s opened in front of you. [14] X Expert Source Collette GeeRelationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.
If you leave for the restroom and come back and forgot to finish your drink off before-hand, ask for a new one. If your date has a problem with that, the issue is with them, not you.
If you arrived by public transportation, you could say that you have to leave to catch the bus. If your friend drove you, say that they have to pick you up early because they had a schedule conflict on their end. Get your friend to text you about a sick pet or a breakup and say that you’re needed elsewhere.
If you are truly desperate and don’t want them to know you’re leaving, tell them you’re going to the bathroom and take any personal items with you, then sneak out another way.
Get loud. Although embarrassment might make you want to keep quiet and not make a spectacle, it is to your advantage to be loud and make sure other people can hear that you are not interested in this person’s advances or company. This may convince people, without your solicitation, to come help you.
Kick the side of the knee to injure or even incapacitate an attacker. Gouge, poke, or scratch an attacker’s eyes with your fingers or knuckles. If your attacker is very close to you, user the heel of your palm to strike the under portion of their nose, throwing the whole weight of your body into the motion. The goal of attacking your attacker is not to beat them up but to prevent them from following you and, in the case that they are holding you, make them let go.
Do not immediately go back home. Should this person be capable of following you, you do not want to accidentally show them where you live.
Stay on the line. A sudden disconnect could mean that something has gone very wrong for you, and the operator will try to call you back. This could delay emergency response time and tie up the lines, so be sure to stay on the line until you are told you can hang up.
