Deep breathing. Progressive muscle relaxation. Listening to soothing music. Taking a walk. Meditation. Listening to a podcast.
For example, an unrealistic thought might be something like, “My roommate never does anything to help keep our apartment clean! I do everything!” Before you allow yourself to get angrier due to this thought, take a moment to decide if this is really true. Does your roommate do different things than you do to keep the apartment clean? If so, then the word “never” in this statement is not realistic. Try rewriting the thought or statement into something more realistic, such as “I wish my roommate would pitch in a little more than she does with household chores. ”
When you are facing a problem, try taking time to identify the problem before you try to solve it. Then, make a list of all the possible solutions available to you and choose the best one. After putting your solution into action, reflect on how it went and see how you can adjust your strategy for a better result in the future.
If you’ve felt disrespected or hurt by someone, you may want to inflict the same emotional pain upon them. Instead of doing this, let them know that they hurt your feelings and that you felt disrespected by their actions. Instead of letting your anger build, let the person know what they did wrong. Say something like “I don’t like that you did that. It really makes me angry and upset. "
You can do a team sport like football, baseball, soccer, or hockey. If you don’t like physical sports, try doing something creative like learning how to play an instrument or learning how to paint.
You can say, “I need to take a walk because I’m getting really angry and I’m trying to stay calm. I need some time to think about this, but we can talk when I get back. "
For instance, instead of making fun of someone to make yourself feel better, give them a compliment and make their day better. Practicing compassion can make you a healthier and happier person. [11] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source You can also buy a friend a small gift like candy or a book to show your appreciation for them.
Put away distractions and give the person your full attention. As you listen, try to suspend judgment. Just try to understand what the person is saying and where they are coming from. When you express yourself, use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Try saying things like, “I feel frustrated when you forget to pick up your dishes. ” Don’t say things like, “You never clean up after yourself!” Communicating effectively also means sometimes being vulnerable and talking about things that could be embarrassing. For example, if a friend does something you don’t approve of, instead of yelling and saying things that you’ll regret, say something like, “When you made that joke, and everyone laughed, it made me feel sad. I was humiliated, and even though you didn’t think it was a big deal, it really hurt my feelings. "
If your roommate is tapping their pencil and it’s stopping you from doing your work, say something like “Hey, I know this seems crazy, but I really can’t get this paper done while you’re tapping that pencil. Do you mind stopping while I do my work?”
Don’t put down other people’s work or effort. Admire someone when they excel at something instead of dismissing it or minimizing it. Try to reduce the amount of judgment you put on others. If you don’t understand a subculture or demographic of people, look to immerse yourself in their world instead of senselessly hating it.
To improve your active listening, concentrate on paying attention to what the person is saying, provide feedback to show that you’re listening, and defer any judgment you may have. Instead of criticizing them, try supporting the person. Think back to a time when you were under similar circumstances and try to reflect on how badly it felt.
If someone makes a valid suggestion, instead of getting angry at them for pointing out a weakness, say “You’re right. I need to work on it, and I am, but it’s a process. " Instead of automatically taking comments in a negative light, ask the person “What do you mean by that?” Once they explain, it may not be as harmful as you initially thought.
The more you help others on your accord, the happier you’ll be. [17] X Research source
Communicate with your family and ask them if there’s anything else that needs to be done around the house. A clean and organized house can actually boost your energy and make you happier. [18] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
Stay attentive and listen. Sometimes friends don’t want advice, just someone to talk to. If you’ve talked to your friend about a serious issue, it’ll be easier to talk to them about serious problems in your life.
Volunteering with a group of people will also give you a sense of belonging to a community which will increase your happiness and make you less angry. Having a support system when times are hard can help us cope with daily stress.
