Even if you’re both very busy, try to set aside time to talk or send a few text messages throughout the week. This will help make you feel close, even if you don’t have time to see each other frequently. Reassure your friend that you’ll always be there for them even if you don’t talk as often as you used to.
If you’re looking for something fun and new to do together, try planning a road trip or cooking a new recipe. You could also sign up for classes to learn a new skill together, like scrapbooking, painting, or woodworking.
For example, if your friend has come down with a cold, you can bring them soup and cold medicine to help them feel better. For someone who likes to knit, you might get them a ball of yarn that you thought was a nice color, or a pair of knitting needles. If you want to help your friend but don’t have a lot of money to spend, you can offer to watch their pets if they’re going out of town, or run an errand for them that’s out of their way. This will help to make their life easier, and you don’t have to spend any money on it!
Keep in mind that you might not always have advice for your friend, but it’s okay to just listen to them while they talk about what’s going on. Sometimes, it’s helpful to just have someone to talk to. If you know that a friend is going through a hard time, check in on them periodically to make sure they’re okay, or make plans to spend time together to cheer them up. For example, you can organize a marathon of their favorite movie series, or get together for a game night! Maintain boundaries even in difficult times. For example, if your friend needs to borrow money and you’re not comfortable giving them any, keep that boundary or else you may grow to resent them later on. Supporting your friend doesn’t mean you have to fix things for them.
For example, if you’re afraid of disappointing your friend and family, you can share this with your friend. They may tell you something that might help to make you feel better, or they might share a similar fear. If you’re feeling insecure about your smile one day, you can tell your friend what you’re feeling. They might be able to make you feel better about it and remind you that you’re beautiful inside and out. Remember not to dwell on these issues, and never bring up your friend’s fears or insecurities during a conflict. You and your friend share these things to bring you closer and you shouldn’t use their fears or insecurities against them.
For example, if your friend is fighting with your mutual friend and has spread rumors about them, sit down with them and talk about what’s going on. In that case, you can say something like, “I know you’re arguing with Jessie right now, but I don’t think you should be sharing secrets about her with other people. I don’t want to get involved in your disagreement, but I feel like you’re doing something that you might regret later. ” It’s wrong to lie or hide things from your friends. If you’re doing something that you feel needs to be hidden, chances are that you’re doing something that is wrong or harmful to yourself or someone else.
For example, if you know they just started on a local softball team, you can ask “How was your first practice? Are you enjoying playing on a team again?” If they’ve been working toward their degree, you can ask “How are your classes going? Do you need help studying for any upcoming exams?”
If you find yourself interrupting your friend often, it might be helpful to wait an extra 5-10 seconds before saying something. Many people don’t realize they’re interrupting when they do it, so waiting a little longer will give your friend a chance to finish talking. If you’re talking in person, be sure to make eye contact and eliminate distractions. For instance, don’t play on your phone while your friend is talking.
Try not to get jealous if your friend wants to hang out with their other friends. It can seem like they’d rather be with them, but it’s important to have a variety of different friends. If you’re feeling insecure in your friendship, talk with your friend about how you’re feeling so you can come up with a solution together.
For example, if your friend says something like, “I think that Target is closed right now,” and you know that it’s open, you can say something like, “Let’s check their hours online. I think I remember seeing that they extended their hours!”
For example, if you want to go to a party and your friend doesn’t want to go, you can show them respect by not pressuring them into going and not making them feel bad about it. Resist the urge to call each other names, even if it’s only done as a joke.
However, if you think that your friend might be in danger or might hurt themselves, inform a medical professional or law enforcement immediately to ensure their safety. Although it might seem like you’re betraying their trust, their health is more important. Gossiping might seem to bring you closer to other friends, but really you’re only bonding at the sacrifice of someone else’s happiness, so avoid talking about other people behind their back.
Having empathy is important for dealing with a conflict. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see what they’re seeing. You might find that you actually do understand where they’re coming from. Remind yourself that you would likely speak up in a situation where your friend was doing something that you didn’t agree with.
Start your conversation using “I” statements, like, “I feel upset when you point out my flaws in front of other people,” or “I feel hurt when you exclude me from plans with our other friends. ” Try to avoid using statements that start with “you,” like, “You talk about me behind my back and that’s really rude. ”
If your friend wants to stop the conversation, respect their wishes and pause the conversation until you’re both in a better state of mind. For example, if you’re getting upset while you’re talking, you can say something like, “Can we take a break for a few minutes so I can calm down, and then we can keep talking?” Then, you can go to a different room and gather your thoughts before restarting the conversation.
For instance, if you’re having a disagreement because you and your friend like the same person, you can say something like, “I think it would be best if neither of us dated her. Then, we can keep our friendship intact and not have to worry about competing for the same girl. ” If you can’t pick just one of your solutions, try combining 2 or 3 to address all of the problems that you possibly can. After a few weeks of using the solution that you both agreed to, have a conversation about whether or not it’s working. If it isn’t, adjust what you’re doing or find a new solution.
