For a female, an appropriate outfit might be a knee-length or below skirt, or nice jeans with a nice sweater. For a male, a button-down shirt and nice pants might be appropriate. Think about what you might wear to a holiday dinner with your family, and go with a similar look. Choose a hairdo that gets the hair up and away from your face.
Address your boyfriend’s parents by their titles (Mr. , Mrs. , Dr. ) and their surname, unless they have indicated otherwise. You could say, “Mr. and Mrs. Brown, thank you so much for inviting me to your house. Mike has told me so much about you. ” Make sure you are making good eye contact when talking to his parents. It conveys confidence and interest. [2] X Trustworthy Source Michigan State University Extension Extension program of Michigan State University focused on community outreach, education, and engagement Go to source
Smiling helps you feel happier and more relaxed, as well as helps you appear reliable and sincere. [3] X Research source
Try tensing different parts of your body for 10 seconds and then relaxing them. [4] X Research source Breathe deeply into your belly. Breathe through your nose, feel the air fill your abdomen, and exhale through your mouth. Repeat this for a few minutes. [5] X Research source
Flowers or a small plant A box of chocolates A gourmet food item
If you’re invited to eat with them, brush up on your table manners before you go. Make sure you put your napkin in your lap, don’t chew with your mouth open, and ask people to pass out-of-reach food instead of trying to get it yourself. Be sure to say thank you after your meal. For example, “Thanks so much for dinner, Mrs. Flores! That was really good. ”
Things you might want to find out: Where are his parents from? What kind of work do they do? What do they like to do in their spare time? Make sure you find out conversation topics to avoid in order to prevent a foot-in-mouth moment. For example, you might not want to talk about the expensive cruise your family just went on when your boyfriend’s parents are having money problems. [8] X Research source
Ask open-ended questions. Questions that require more than a yes or no answer are ways to continue the conversation. Try saying, “Tell me more about that” or “What was that like?”[10] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
You could say, “I’ve also heard this perspective…” or “You know, I just read about this! The article said. . . . . ” which can help take the heat off you while gently offering another perspective. Do not say things like, “You’re wrong,” or “How can you even think that?” Don’t act like a know-it-all. People do not like lectures, they prefer conversations. Make sure you are allowing others to share their opinions, even if you are an expert on a subject. [11] X Research source
For example, say you and his father are baseball fans. Ask which teams he supports, if he’s been to any games this season, and if there are any players he’s been impressed with this year. Steer clear of controversial topics like politics or religion. Remember that movies, TV, and music are generally easy discussion topics to which everyone can contribute. Remember, if all else fails, you can always talk about your boyfriend. Tell his parents that they raised a really good son, and talk about the reasons he’s a good partner to you. [13] X Expert Source Erika KaplanMatchmaker Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.
Don’t brag, but do share your career goals and successes. Showing your boyfriend’s parents that you’re independent and driven will help them see that you can stand on your own two feet. That may make them more comfortable knowing you’re dating their son. [14] X Expert Source Erika KaplanMatchmaker Expert Interview. 1 October 2020. Be careful not to overshare. Especially in the early days of your relationship, it’s probably not a good idea to unload on his parents about the problems you have with your family, for example.
Share your interests with his family, whether it is your fondness for baking or your unapologetically dorky love for sci-fi movies. Your enthusiasm will help them get to know you better. If you have a good sense of humor, try to make them laugh (with appropriate jokes). If you love children, spend time with his younger cousins. Let his family get to know the real you. If your true personality includes of lots of swear words, make sure you make efforts to stop swearing in front of his family. Many people find swearing unpleasant, and many people also believe it makes a person look less intelligent. [15] X Research source
Offer to help with family projects. If your boyfriend’s family is outside raking leaves, ask if they need any help. If you are there for a family birthday party, blow up balloons or help set out the snacks.
You could also offer to treat for a portion of the outing. You could say, “Thanks so much for taking me ice skating! Could I treat everyone to some hot chocolate?” Be sure to thank them for inviting you and for treating you to the activity. You could say, “Thanks so much for such a fun evening, and thank you for treating me to dinner. I really appreciate it. ”
For example, if his little sister admires the necklace you made, tell her the next time you come over, you’ll bring your jewelry kit and help her make one. Try inviting his mom out to coffee or lunch. Let her know that you want a chance to build a relationship with her. [17] X Expert Source Erika KaplanMatchmaker Expert Interview. 1 October 2020. Talk to his older relatives about their lives and memories. Find out from your boyfriend if anyone has interesting stories to tell, and then talk to them. You could say, “Jack told me that you worked for NASA in the 1980s. What did you do? What was that like?”[18] X Research source
Make sure your boyfriend keeps his hands off you, too. Before you go into his parents’ house, you could say, “I don’t want to make your parents uncomfortable, so please don’t do anything more than hold my hand, okay?”
While you may want to be included in his family’s holiday plans, respect their wishes if they choose to keep significant others out of their celebrations. Different families have different boundaries around what “family” means.
