Say something like, “I still really care about you, and I’m sorry this is so hard for you. ” You might also say, “It hurts me to hear you say you’ll hurt yourself. Even though our relationship isn’t working out, I still believe you are a wonderful person. " Understand that they may not believe you when you say this. Let them know what you are willing to do for them, but do not feel pressured to do something you’re not comfortable with.
For instance, avoid saying something like, “You don’t really mean that,” or, “You’re just saying that to make me feel bad. ” Instead, you might say, “I’m sorry that you are thinking this way. " You can also avoid an argument by using “I” statements, such as “I am unhappy in this relationship” rather than “You don’t make me happy,” which may make the person defensive. [3] X Research source Keep your tone of voice soft and low. Maintain open body language with your arms and legs relaxed at your sides. When you raise your voice and use intimidating body language (e. g. crossed arms or balled fists), an argument is more likely to occur.
You could say something like, “I can’t sacrifice my long-term goals to stay in this relationship, even though I think you’re a great person with a lot to offer. ”
For instance, if your soon-to-be ex says, “When I’m gone, it will be your fault,” you could reply, “I don’t want you to kill yourself, but that’s your choice to make, not mine. I can’t control what you do. ”
For example, say something like, “I know it’s hard to think about now, but you’re a lot more than just half of our relationship. You’re going to go to veterinary school and do good things with your life. In time, you’ll even be happy with somebody else. ” Remind them that other people care about them too. When you do this, list specific people who can support them during this time.
In the U. S. , the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline can be reached at 988. This hotline is free, confidential, and staffed around the clock. [10] X Research source 988lifeline. org This number can also be reached via text. Crisischat. org is an online text-based alternative to phone hotlines. Trained experts are available from 2 PM to 2 AM, Monday through Sunday. Wikipedia has a list of suicide crisis lines for countries outside the U. S. [11] X Research source
If you the person makes vague threats of suicide, offer to take them to the local emergency room or call/text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. Call a friend or family member to come be with the person. [13] X Trustworthy Source National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Suicide prevention network operating a toll-free 24/7 hotline for anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts or emotional distress Go to source Don’t leave them unsupervised, but don’t think you have to be the one with them. You don’t want them to think that suicide threats are the only way to get your attention.
Try to find out their location before you call the police. Do not let them know that you are calling the police when you do so. This will help the police reach them in a timely manner.
Say something like, “Hey, I know this isn’t a fun thing to talk about, but I’m going to break up with Emily tonight. She’s threatening to hurt herself, and I’m worried. Will you come over so she has support once I leave?” Avoid leaving until others have arrived so that you can be sure the person is safe. Choose people you know are close to your soon-to-be-ex boyfriend or girlfriend.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend has a history of violence, break up with them over the phone or in a public place. Put your own safety first in a dangerous situation, even if you’re afraid for the other person.
If you are struggling with guilt after the breakup, it may be helpful to talk to a counselor.
You should remove them from your social media profiles. Ask mutual friends not to talk to you about your ex. If you need to communicate with your ex, choose one way that they can reach you, such as by text or by email.
