Avoid arranging to have a long meal together, since you might be ready to go before the food even arrives. If you don’t want to meet in person, it’s fine to break up with your friend over the phone. Avoid doing it over text, since it’s harder to express yourself fully and have a real conversation. Do not break up with your friend in front of people you both know. This can be deeply embarrassing and hurtful.

It’s always best to have a conversation, if possible. Ghosting can be devastating to another person. [3] X Expert Source Kim Chronister, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 28 July 2021. There is a situation in which being straightforward is not the kindest way to end a friendship. If you just don’t like the person anymore, through no fault of his or her own, there’s really no reason to say it out loud. If this is the case, go to Method 2 and let the friendship naturally fade.

If you never want to talk again, tell the person you won’t be in touch after this and that you don’t want to hear from him or her, either. If you’re still fine hanging out in a group but you don’t want to have one-on-one talks, it’s fine to say that. It’s also fine to say that you might be open to renewing the friendship later, but only if you mean it. Otherwise the person might keep trying to get in touch when you just want to be left alone. Just be crystal clear about your expectations so your former friend won’t get confused. If your friend truly respects you, they’ll respect the boundaries that you’re setting up. [6] X Expert Source Kim Chronister, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 28 July 2021.

This is easier said than done. If your former friend is really upset, it might be extremely hard to ignore his or her calls and texts. If you’re serious about breaking up this friendship, don’t let the person cross your boundaries. You’ll just give him or her the wrong impression and make things harder in the future. Remember—you have nothing to feel guilty about![7] X Expert Source Kim Chronister, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 28 July 2021.

When two friends are naturally ready to part ways, it’s not difficult to be in touch less often. You’d probably both rather be doing other things, anyway, so it won’t feel like a big sacrifice not to talk much more than you need to. On the other hand, if your friend isn’t feeling the same way you are about the friendship, being in touch less may hurt his or her feelings. Unfortunately it’s really hard to avoid hurt feelings when you’re ending a friendship. You’ll have to decide whether you still want to end it either way.

If your friend tends to want to talk about private matters, like her relationship with her boyfriend, steer the conversation in a safer direction. Change the subject so she doesn’t get the chance to tell you her deepest feelings. Eventually your friend will start to notice that you don’t talk the way you used to. He or she may call you out on it or decide to withdraw, too. Be prepared for either reaction.

Again, if the other person isn’t ready for this to end, declining his or her invitations is going to cause some hurt. It’s up to you to decide whether the nicer thing to do is be more straightforward about why you keep saying “no” every time he or she invites you to do something.

If you try to have a conversation with the person about it, he or she may end up making you feel like you are the one who did something wrong. Don’t get wrapped up in that drama. If you know the person is going to make things hard for you, just cut it off cold turkey.

If the behavior escalates from passive-aggressive to just plain aggressive, you may need to take further action. Talk to your teachers or supervisors if it’s happening at work or school. See if you can provide evidence that you are being targeted. You may have legal options as well. If the person won’t leave you alone and his or her behavior constitutes harassment,[13] X Research source you may want to file a restraining order.

You may also feel surprisingly sad to lose the good parts of the friendship with the person you broke up with. After all, you were friends for a reason, even if your relationship eventually turned bad. Sadness is totally normal in this situation.