Explain to your daughter that every person’s breasts are different and that she may even need something different than you. Tell her that each of her own breasts may differ in size and shape and that this is normal.
Ask your daughter well before you start shopping if she is comfortable with a fitting. Only schedule it if she is comfortable. For example, “Molly, a lady named Mrs. Caldicott does professional bra fittings. She’s worked with me and lots of other girls your age. She’s usually got ideas about fun and pretty bras. Is this something that you might want to do?"
Try not rejecting bra choices immediately. Remember that your daughter is growing and exploring herself and the red lace bralette may be what other girls are wearing.
For example, “So you like this black lace bralette and this bright pink sports bra, right, Charlotte? What do you like about them? Do you think it might be more practical to get a cream or white lace bralette that you can wear with everything?” or “Why don’t we get a bra with padding in a couple of months? Then you can get used to wearing another layer under your clothes. ”
Bring up breast buds with your daughter gently and constructively. For example, “Hey Kate, Mrs. Allum mentioned that Devon is getting breasts. You know it’s completely normal if you have or haven’t yet. You might feel little lumps on your chest called breast buds. They don’t hurt and just mean you’re getting your breasts, too. You can ask me questions any time you have them. I’ll keep it between us. ” Be aware that each breast bud can develop at different rates, which is completely normal. [8] X Research source
Changes in body shape. Development of body hair. Changing behaviors and emotions.
For example, “Emmeline, I noticed that Liv was wearing a sports bra at practice the other day. Is that something you’re interested in?” Your daughter’s answer can clue you in to if she’s ready for a bra.
Answer questions simply as possible. Avoid using big words like “thelarche,” “mammogram,” or “breast tissue. ” Instead, say, “You can start developing breasts until your 14, Sam. Your boobs can grow and shrink with age, weight, and if you ever have a baby. ” Be honest if you don’t know the answers to questions. For example, “I’m so sorry Isabel, I don’t know the answer to that question. Why don’t we call Dr. Martina and find out? Do you have any other hard questions about your breasts?”
Keep in mind that your daughter may want to look like her friends when she is changing in gym class or sleepovers.
For example, “Hey Josephine, the decision is up to you. We can make a fun day of it and get you your first bra. But if you want to wait, that’s totally ok, too. Just let me know whenever you’re ready. ”
